Boosting Your Sexual Confidence – The 5-Step Guide to Being Less Self-Conscious in The Bedroom

It's normal for us to sometimes lack confidence in the things we do. It's a continual fight we go through more times than we'd want to acknowledge, from impostor syndrome at work to insecurity over our bodies. But if there's one subject about which should discuss more, it is lack of confidence in the bedroom.

Sex can be a taboo topic at times, but it is important to comprehend how it affects our lives. Because, whether we like it or not, factors such as family, culture, and even psychology can have an impact on our perspective and connection with sex before we ever have our first sexual encounter. Once we do decide to do it, these factors might either inhibit or allow us to have good sexual self-esteem.

Lacking sex confidence does not indicate that something is wrong with you and whether it is due to trauma, culture, or the family context in which you were raised, there are methods to unlearn those negative thinking patterns and rewrite your sexual story with confidence.

1. Assess your feelings

Most of the time, this lack of confidence comes from within and not from the sexual act itself. This is why you need to look deep down within yourself and find the root of the problem.

When it comes to sexuality, we must learn to dive into our memories, prior experiences, and feelings in order to understand them and how they affect our love life. Journaling about your own sex experiences, whether it's about past conversations or sexual actions, can help you paint the full picture of why you might not feel secure when having sex.

However, if doing so makes you uncomfortable, don't push yourself to go through this alone. Instead of processing this on your own, it would be a good idea to speak with a professional who can help you figure out what's causing your lack of confidence. People may require the assistance of therapists or psychologists since their anxieties are frequently the result of prior experiences, and that's OK. The fact that you are willing to seek help is already an important step towards reclaiming your confidence.

2. Cultivate the relationship you have with yourself

Understanding what you like and don't like is one of the most effective methods to increase your sexual confidence. This entails being really honest with yourself and not making excuses for it. Getting to know yourself on a more intimate level may also help you create a healthy body image, as your sexuality is founded in having a deeper awareness of yourself.

The first relationship we are ever exposed to is the one we have with ourselves, and if that relationship is skewed, all of our other relationships, platonic or romantic, are more likely to be skewed as well. At certain moments throughout the act of sex or in relationships, the connection you establish with yourself can become a calm trigger and help you overcome specific situations.

Don't judge your preferences, kinks, and turn-offs. Instead, understand them and see how you can apply these things in your day-to-day life. Sometimes, speaking with like-minded people may help you understand your preferences may not be as peculiar as you think, and there is nothing to really be ashamed of. For instance, you can visit an online platform to meet people and meet people that have same preferences as you, then engage in a conversation - here you can find out more.

3. Get to know your body intimately

It's vital to try out the things you think you might enjoy before having sex with someone else, whether you're in a relationship or not. When there is no one around but yourself, you can truly focus on self-discovery and figure out the things your body enjoys or doesn't quite like.

It really pays off to pause and analyse how you feel about your entire body. Consider which parts of your body you enjoy and which you feel self-conscious about. Are there any areas of yourself that you're embarrassed about? Consider everything, as a lack of confidence can manifest itself in subtle ways.

Understanding your body may help you begin to discover your needs, even if it can bring up uncomfortable or uneasy sensations at times. Are there any portions of your body that you'd prefer your partner does not touch? Are there some things that your body reacts to better than others? Do you prefer to use vibrators or your hands? The more you understand what gets you on and what doesn't, the more confident you'll be in communicating with your partner about it.

4. Communicate openly about your preferences

You may feel more comfortable communicating with your partner about your preferences after you have a deeper knowledge of your needs, body, and sexual history. However, it's critical to discuss this before engaging in any sexual activity. This may aid in the knowledge of your limits, potential shame triggers, and kinks you and your partner may feel secure and comfortable performing.

Prior to jumping into bed with your new partner, have a talk about sexuality and potential sex anxieties. Sex is a personal experience, even if it's shared with one or more people, and should happen in a way in which all participants feel comfortable and enjoy themselves.

5. Develop habits that will boost your confidence

You and your partner can discover what helps you become aroused more easily and confidently through exploration, just like the self-care rituals we do from time to time. This will, however, require exploration and a lot of trial and error.

While it's critical to know yourself, it's also critical to know your partner's goals and needs in order to boost your self-esteem by providing pleasure as well. You may both create routines and habits that will safely enhance the sexual experience by listening to what each of you likes.

Don't be discouraged if it seems that figuring out your sexual preferences and gaining sexual confidence is a never-ending process. Keep in mind that you should be patient with yourself. Sometimes, it may seem like is going to go according to plan, but that may be entertaining. Exploration means allowing yourself to do both right and wrongs to discover the things you accept and don't accept.