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  • Eva Marcille Politely Requests You Stare at Her Tits

    24 October 2014, 2:26 pm by: Lex

    I like when actresses I don’t know show off their tits on the red carpet. It forces me into journalst mode though I have no formal training or I formal clue in that regard. Who is this woman? What has she been in? What are her dreams and hopes and…
  • Taylor Swift Shakes It All Off

    24 October 2014, 1:06 pm by: Lex

    People got kind of pissed last night when Hollywood Boulevard got shut down for a Taylor Swift outdoor pop performance for Jimmy Kimmel. Even the ex-con costumed characters agreed to stop fighting over turf and come together in their hatred toward Taylor Swift…
  • Stella Maxwell Wears Underwear Super Well

    24 October 2014, 11:58 am by: Lex

    This chick seems to be getting a lot of jobs. Probably all those IT certifications on her resume. Maybe her perfectly tight ass which says to the world, I don’t need no fucking IT certifications. I’ll find a guy to set up my email. Good for you,…
  • Ebola Takes Manhattan

    24 October 2014, 11:36 am by: Lex

    New York has Ebola. Wonderful. Now the rest of us get to hear about how New York Ebola is better than Ebola everywhere else. Dr. Craig Spencer traveled to Guinea last month to help patients with Ebola. Medical workers and family members throwing themselves…
  • Jeanie Buss Has Priorities

    24 October 2014, 11:06 am by: Matt

    Jeanie Buss feels it’s awkward running the Lakers while her crotchety old man boyfriend runs the Knicks. Luckily she made sure to clarify that business comes before Viagra induced pleasure. Shit got weird when Buss was pursuing Carmelo Anthony during free…
  • Honey Boo Boo At Risk

    24 October 2014, 10:45 am by: Matt

    Mama June, the human toilet known for shitting out Honey Boo Boo, is dating Mark McDaniel, a child molester who previously forced an eight year old to blow him and served ten years in prison. Making it slightly worse if possible, the victim was a relative of…
  • Cool Freshman Bangs Lisa Ann

    24 October 2014, 10:08 am by: Matt

    Notre Dame football player Justin Brent banged 42 year old porn veteran Lisa Ann in NYC while his team was on a bi week. Ann and Brent apparently met while she was ‘traveling for work’, which means this dude has wasted no time ingratiating himself into the…
  • Christian Bale Is No Ashton Kutcher

    24 October 2014, 9:36 am by: Matt

    Christian Bale has been tapped to play Steve Jobs in a new biopic. You might recall a Steve Jobs film coming out only last year. Typically two movies about the same topic wouldn’t be made within such a brief period, unless one of them featured a hilariously…
  • Tit Twerking Model Tells All

    24 October 2014, 9:34 am by: Matt

    Sara X, the chick who bounced her tits to Mozart, wrote an editorial for Jezebel because if you have tits you can write an editorial for Jezebel. The lengthy piece breaks down the production of her viral video as if it were Avatar 3 and chronicles her…
  • Yes, You Are the Only Sad Fuck Who Didn’t Get Screwed By His Hot Teacher in High School

    23 October 2014, 5:46 pm by: Lex

    There are some social criminal phenomenons clearly blown out of proportion by the cable and digital news ratings whores. 24×7 coverage of school shootings belies the fact that you’re far more likely to be killed getting to and from high school each day than…

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