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  • Michelle Lewin in a Thong

    28 November 2014, 1:49 pm by: Lex

    Like many other idiots, each Thanksgiving I feel compelled to visit relatives who live in as cold a fucking place as can support some level of human life. The ice age didn’t just sweep over our tropical environs while we were sleeping on a Tuesday night. It…
  • Jennifer Aniston Still Making Movies

    28 November 2014, 1:41 pm by: Matt

    Jennifer Aniston revealed her financially motivated inspiration for reprising her role as the nympho dentist in Horrible Bosses II. The critically panned and widely considered unnecessary follow up to 2011′s copacetic original features Aniston again…
  • Paul George Happy the Abortion Never Took

    28 November 2014, 1:07 pm by: Matt

    The perils of playing basketball in a small market like Indianapolis are not to be underestimated. Endorsements come fewer and your groupies are ridden with half erased tattoos. On the bright side it’s reported less what a prodigious fool you are. Paul…
  • Keke Lindgard Wears Lingerie

    28 November 2014, 12:53 pm by: Lex

    I can’t think of a more inspiring tale than an attractive surfer chick from Hawaii becoming a professional swimsuit model. This is good news for the hottest girls in tropical island high schools who heretofore saw themselves topping out as a Luke or Owen…
  • Katy Perry Wins a Vaunted Aria

    28 November 2014, 12:19 pm by: Lex

    Katy Perry skipped the American Music Awards earlier this week because she was winning an even bigger award in Australia, the rake of half a mill a night in appearance fees. Also, the Australians made up some kind of accolate to give her since they know they…
  • Liam Gallagher Sick For The Cause

    28 November 2014, 12:00 pm by: Matt

    The only talented one from Oasis missed a deposition for a child support hearing regarding a chick he knocked up in New York City. This wasn’t any random skank, but a skank who happened to be a journalist writing an all access profile for the New York Times…
  • Scott Stapp Tests Faith (VIDEO)

    28 November 2014, 11:07 am by: Matt

    Scott Stapp has apparently been doing huge amounts of meth, as evidenced by a video he made denying he is doing huge amounts of meth. Its a variation of the old adage If You Have To Ask. If you’re going to issue a statement proclaiming your sanity it’s…
  • Floyd Mayweather Pro Life, Not Privacy

    28 November 2014, 10:19 am by: Matt

    Floyd Mayweather is being sued by his ex fiancee Shantel Jackson because he allegedly beat the shit out of her and publicly outed her for having an abortion. She sees this as an invasion of privacy and definitely no way to impress a lady. Floyd thinks making…
  • Richard Sherman Might Get Disappeared (VIDEO)

    28 November 2014, 9:38 am by: Matt

    Richard Sherman protested his teammate Marshawn Lynch’s $100,000 dollar fine levied by the NFL for not speaking to the media after a recent game. NFL rules clearly state players must tell reporters tired lines like ‘one game at a time’ and ‘we left it…
  • Apparently It’s Thanksgiving

    27 November 2014, 12:16 pm by: Lex

    Obama pardoned an Ebola riddled turkey and launched it free from the West Wing balcony so no single person should know the stigma of Ebola. This year, we’ll all be dead by Christmas. Cancel the shopping. Spend time with your loved ones and write a goodbye…

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