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  • Jenny McCarthy Is Marriage Material

    16 April 2014, 3:17 pm by: Lex

    Jenny McCarthy has a new ring on her finger. And, no, it’s not the platinum band to signify her millionth child kill through ardently promoting the spread of preventable infectious disease. She’s engaged to Donnie Wahlberg, the former New Kids on the Block…
  • Heidi Klum Demands Your Titty Respect

    16 April 2014, 2:42 pm by: Lex

    You can’t just want then, cougar cub, you need to say you want them. Heidi Klum has one rule when it comes to mounting the multitude of young cock she intends to ride because she’s 40 and rich and horny. You must appreciate the flapjacks. She will shove…
  • Dina Lohan’s Guilty Plea is a Passover Miracle

    16 April 2014, 1:46 pm by: Lex

    Considering Dina Lohan is what God had lined up next for the Egyptians if slaying the first born sons didn’t pan out, it seems blasphemous she and her attorney were invoking Passover to explain her miracle of no jail time in her guilty plea to driving super…
  • Lake Bell Strips In Esquire

    16 April 2014, 1:21 pm by: Lex

    I can’t abide people who use old memes and then feel obliged to explain them as if they’d just invented fire. I remember drunk discussing Lake Bell with an old roommate who told me she was the ultimate Hollywood butterface, then felt compelled to explain…
  • Ana Braga in a Pink Thong Bikini

    16 April 2014, 12:41 pm by: Lex

    I like that America has become a safe haven for foreign girls looking to become famous by flashing tits and ass. Politicians make speeches about how we’re a proud nation of immigrants, but mostly people have always hated the raggedy folks who got here after…
  • Andy Cohen Will Be So Brave For Lindsay Lohan

    16 April 2014, 12:00 pm by: Travis

    Because Lindsay Lohan is such a troubled soul “recovering” from her addictions to drugs and alcohol or whatever, Bravo’s Andy Cohen has vowed that when he has her as a guest on Watch What Happens Live tomorrow night, he will be her “sober buddy” for…
  • I Slept Through Tax Day Again

    16 April 2014, 11:27 am by: Lex

    April 15th isn’t really the day you pay taxes. It’s the day you have to submit those forms to the government to show that the money you had taken out of your paycheck the previous year is about what you owe. Some idiots get super excited when they get a…
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones And Michael Douglas Don’t Look Very Separated

    16 April 2014, 11:00 am by: Travis

    Steven Soderbergh’s new play The Library opened in New York City last night, and it was such an important and magical evening that it even managed to bring Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones back together. This miracle of modern love reminded us that…
  • CNN’s Boston Marathon Coverage Needs Work (VIDEO)

    16 April 2014, 10:00 am by: Travis

    Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of the day that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and his dead dipshit brother decided to set off a bomb at the finish line of the Boston Marathon and create their legacies as two of the biggest pieces of shit on Earth. The city held…
  • Coco Austin Still Seems Like A Great Person

    16 April 2014, 9:00 am by: Travis

    Other than just being Ice T’s wife and having a huge ass and matching breasts, I don’t really know what Coco Austin does for a living. She could be the world’s smartest scientist and currently have in her possession a single mega-cure that will rid the…

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