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  • Uncle Terry Is Back

    4 March 2015, 4:18 pm by: Lex

    Terry Richardson returned to center stage of mediocre camera work and high end dick-to-ear slapping with this French model he found on ChristianMingle. It sucks when Jesus’ plan for your holy romance involves crawling across Uncle Terry’s hardwood floor in…
  • Seth Rogen’s Hot Box And Shit Around The Web

    4 March 2015, 3:00 pm by: Jack

    Sony Pictures former chief Amy Pascal says she can’t move into the offices previously occupied by Seth Rogen because the smell of weed is overpowering. It’s possible she’s confusing skunky pot smell with the stench of making the same mildly funny movie…
  • FEMEN Vs. Zuckerberg, Not A Fair Fight

    4 March 2015, 2:56 pm by: Lex

    The ever-boisterous garden club ladies of FEMEN were protesting in Barcelona outside some tech conference where Mark Zuckerberg was set to announce that he owns all you bitches, drop the mic, and depart through the ceiling in his four city block sized…
  • Chris Brown Has A Child, Karrueche Bails

    4 March 2015, 1:58 pm by: Lex

    Breaking the news to your long time girlfriend that you’ve been declared dad to some other chick’s new baby is no simple task. You’re going to want to find a nice public spot and make sure she’s sober. Also, stretch your rapper credit line at the…
  • Kim Kardashian Making More Apps

    4 March 2015, 12:47 pm by: Lex

    Kim Kardashian is on the cover of AdWeek. Probably not related to AdWeek naming her whoring and shopping mobile game for tweens the hottest app of the year. Major media is more incestuous than the Duggars. You know dad is creating those new grandkids. The…
  • Steve Simoff Is Up to No Good

    4 March 2015, 12:12 pm by: Lex

    On the heels of the Detroit guy who walked 21 miles a day to a crappy paying job for no good reason, the media have sussed out an old guy in Iowa who walks 35 miles each way to get to his $9 an hour gig as an overnight janitor. According to newspaper accounts…
  • Suge Knight Ailing

    4 March 2015, 11:04 am by: Matt

    Suge Knight told a judge he is going blind in prison because he doesn’t have access to proper medical care. He was taken to a hospital where he pocketed six scalpels and an elderly Jewish attorney from dialysis. Knight was previously hospitalized after…
  • You Can Stop Feeling Bad About Yourself

    4 March 2015, 10:34 am by: Matt

    The most comprehensive study on dick size ever has found your average dude is packing 5.16 inches or a six adjacent as he’ll casually tell you. This is curious because according to this study only five percent of dudes have a hogan over six inches. Doctors…
  • The Future Was Supposed To Be Better

    4 March 2015, 10:08 am by: Matt

    We are now living in the future as referred to in the science fiction movies we watched as kids. I don’t have a flying car or a hover board or those five course meals that come in pill form. Everybody is fat which I certainly don’t remember about ‘the…
  • Conrad Hilton Cops A Plea

    4 March 2015, 9:37 am by: Matt

    Conrad Hilton has plead guilty to one count of Simple Assault which carries a max of six months in prison or half an hour picking up discarded tabloids with your face on them if you have a decent lawyer. Hilton threw a tantrum on a plane and threatened to…

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