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  • BET Awards Importing Fine Slapping Ass and Shit Around the Web

    Fri 5:42pm By Michael Garcia
    L.A. strip clubs are scouring the land for the finest black booty to work the stages and rooms for the BET Awards weekend. It's like a junior version of an NBA All-Star game which still leads the world in big professional ass imports. Our nation's sports and…
  • There's a Rooster Teeth Channel and They Have the Tits (Mr. Skin Minute Video)

    Fri 2:29pm By Lex
    TV content used to be the purview of a small handful of powerful media conglomerates. Now anybody with a camera and a laptop can distribute programming. Wonderful news if ignoring the lessons of YouTube giving everybody a channel. Video compression and server…
  • Snapchat Remains Vaguely Successful (VIDEO)

    Fri 1:36pm By Lex
    The lifecycle of all social media platforms is that nobody over fourteen understands them at launch, the dude who invents them makes a billion dollars and gets to fuck a supermodel, and nobody admits to themselves the entire thing is merely a new medium for…
  • The Nike Wimbledon Dress Gets Re-Stitched

    Fri 12:36pm By Lex
    Wimbledon seems important in those moments you forget it's a British tennis tournament. Cute. Nobody from Latvia is buying tickets now that you left them paying for Greece's unfunded DMV worker pensions. Nike designed a tennis dress for their sponsored…
  • Charlotte McKee in A Bikini

    Fri 11:14am By Lex
    It's a big day when a New York based fashion model heads down to Miami for representation. Blank-faced Polaroids in nude underwear become salacious glossies in bikinis. New York wants tiny tits and boyish bodies. Miami wants giant screaming honkers and streams…
  • Heidi Klum Hosts A Party For Herself

    Fri 10:35am By Lex
    You're never too old to lick a dripping ice cream cone in the manner of a fellatio big finish. The theme of Heidi Klum's Macy's launch party was lingerie and frozen deserts. One of these things was made within ten thousand miles of the store. Only fat sweaty…
  • Chris Brown Hits For The Cycle (VIDEO)

    Fri 9:30am By Matt
    If Chris Brown understood the concept of irony he'd really enjoy reading his paperback biography while he's permanently locked up six years from now. We'll leave a few pages at the end so you can write in your conversion to Islam, OJ Light.read more
  • Led Zeppelin Stairway To Victory

    Fri 8:39am By Matt
    A jury ruled Led Zeppelin didn't steal the song Stairway to Heaven from an obscure acid rock band named Spirit fronted by a guy who is now dead. Jimmy Page and Robert Plant both played the I Don't Recall card when asked whether they had ever heard the song in…
  • Ashley Graham Confidence Is Diabetes Proof

    Thu 2:40pm By Lex
    Ashley Graham's plus sized modeling phenomenon has opened the door for absolutely no other heavyset models. Maybe they need a wider door. It's important to know when you're a groundbreaking civil rights leader and when you're just a corporate novelty act. Like…
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger Wanders a Dystopian Wasteland Because You Just Had to Have That Burger (VIDEO)

    Thu 1:27pm By Lex
    Arnold Schwarzenegger exploited his celebrity and movie catchphrases to get himself elected governor of California then proceeded to accomplish absolutely nothing during his term of service. The Keebler elves worked more magic than Schwarzenegger who…
  • Rio Seems Ready

    Thu 12:57pm By Lex
    Brazil seemed like an odd choice to host the 2016 Summer Olympics. But only because everybody going there is going to be be killed or live to produce shrunken apple head babies. As with any exceptionally poor decision based upon the transferring of large…
  • Ava Sambora Looks Just Like Her Mom Never Did and Shit Around the Web

    Thu 12:29pm By Michael Garcia
    Whenever a famous hot actress or model has a growing up daughter the media insists on mentioning repeatedly how she's an exact replica of her mom. That's never true. Sometimes she's not nearly as good looking, sometimes she's better looking. It's rude to note…
  • Gwyneth Paltrow Gracious to a Fault

    Thu 12:08pm By Lex
    Gwyneth Paltrow is all about the perfect. The perfect lip moisturizer, the perfect vacation retreat in Morocco, the perfect marriage. Until her marriage ended when Gay Beethoven could no longer stand a woman endless commenting on his choice of salad greens and…
  • Kennedy Summers And Khloe Terae Will Work For Food

    Thu 11:11am By Lex
    Everybody wants to shut down underaged sex tourism in Southeastern Asia, but it's not like the kid workers go back to brushing their ponies at exclusive boarding schools. Newtonian physics explains the action and reaction inevitability. Is Tommy Hilfiger…
  • Blac Chyna Opens Up

    Thu 10:39am By Lex
    The world's largest clickbait site, DailyMail, hosted a party in Cannes they titled the Seriously Popular Yacht Party, just in case you weren't sure how underwhelming it would be. Blac Chyna arrived with the veins in her chest construction site popping out…