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  • Vita Sidorkina Wears Bikinis For Victoria’s Secret

    19 December 2014, 4:13 pm by: Lex

    Victoria’s Secret went deep into their Ural Mountain finder’s fees for this young Russian model. She’s somewhere in the median age range between barely legal and assistant managers in their Myanmar educational sewing camps. Just knowing Victoria’s…
  • Bella Thorne Picks Up Shifts At Sprinkles

    19 December 2014, 3:53 pm by: Lex

    It’s unclear why Bella Thorne was working the swing shit at the cupcake place at The Grove. It’s possible she breached every single one of her performance contracts when tests came back showing she was thirty-seven and a mother of four from Orlando. You…
  • Jennifer Lopez Tits Also Were Pretty Perfect

    19 December 2014, 3:37 pm by: Lex

    I hope the Wizard at the People Magazine awards had something in his bag for Jennifer. Her tits deserved something after two kids. I don’t care if the wet nurse did all the heavy lifting. Give J-Lo an obelisk or a Hardee’s gift certificate or something.…
  • George Clooney Made a Long Speech About Nothing

    19 December 2014, 2:54 pm by: Lex

    George Clooney is one of those guys who makes sure to announce he doesn’t have the right to lecture you on anything, then spends the next thirty minutes heatedly exercising that right. Today, it’s Hollywood backing down to North Korea. Or the parts of…
  • Kate Upton Is the Sexiest

    19 December 2014, 2:15 pm by: Lex

    In between their pages filled with unchallenged pedophile confessions and Obama family racial injustices, People magazine had time to name Kate Upton the sexiest woman alive. Probably an awkward moment for Kate Upton who has asked that she not be treated like…
  • Gwyneth Paltrow Introduces Her Readers to Great Sex

    19 December 2014, 2:03 pm by: Lex

    Gwyneth Paltrow seems like the perfect woman to be instructing other women on the glory of sexual exploration. I wouldn’t read to much into her henpecking Gay Beethoven until he fled in the middle of the night with his travel piano. She could’ve been legs…
  • Joanna Krupa Has It Good

    19 December 2014, 12:33 pm by: Lex

    I bet this former working woman never gets mistaken for a valet when she leaves restaurants. That’s an Obama burden she will never know. Hot blond women will never have to bite on a coin after being mistaken for a shoe shine or asked if they’re holding…
  • Reese Witherspoon Topless Acting As Craft

    19 December 2014, 12:16 pm by: Lex

    I’m going to guess this scene is about two seconds of the move Wild. It’s about a woman who overcomes personal tragedy by showing off her tits and sucking some dude’s finger. I’m mostly gleaning that from the photos. I actually think it’s about a…
  • Mariah Carey Is A Thankless Job

    19 December 2014, 10:44 am by: Matt

    Mariah Carey’s former personal assistant is suing her. Ysler Oliver said she was not paid for working overtime. Personal assistant is a weird job. You’re basically standing in for the unsuccessful sibling who maybe turned down the care-taking gig.  It’s…
  • Lingerie Still Trashy, Possibly Contaminated

    19 December 2014, 10:22 am by: Matt

    Four years ago Jeff Rossen did an Investigative Report which revealed stores who sell lingerie often re-sell returned items, because it was Sweeps or he’s a pervert or both. Something about a dude bringing hidden cameras into a Victoria’s Secret seems way…

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