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  • Kelly Brook Strikes Me as Jaunty

    17 October 2014, 5:51 pm by: Lex

    I’m pretty sure Kelly Brook’s knockers are ripening with the season. Maybe she’s pregnant with ideas. She could also just be getting chunky. British women allow themselves that wretched fate after a breakup. In stark contrast to American celebrities who…
  • Vanessa Hudgens And Ashley Tisdale Merge Leggings

    17 October 2014, 5:06 pm by: Lex

    There are two kinds of people in this world. Those shocked by the Stephen Collins’ admissions and those who have even been kid actors coming up in Hollywood. Corey Feldman is the Jose Canseco of former child actors. He wrote the book on the pedophiles and…
  • Dutch Bikers Once Again More Manly Than You

    17 October 2014, 4:34 pm by: Lex

    Dutch Outlaw Bikers have motored down to Northern Iraq and Syria to go kill some fucking ISIS jihadists. They’re not being compensated, they just found an amazingly low cost adventure vacation. The Dutch government wanted to show that they’re not as pussy…
  • Iggy Azalea Preps the Camel Toe for War

    17 October 2014, 4:04 pm by: Lex

    Iggy Azalea’s cleft looks primed for war. Her vulva ate right through her shorts looking for some kind of firearm to bring to bear upon Snoop Dogg for calling her an ugly albino no talent bitch. She’s hardly an albino. I wish some people would use the…
  • Daphne Joy Has Big Yabbos

    17 October 2014, 3:02 pm by: Lex

    For the men who live entirely for their high school reunions, and you know who you are, you could do worse than showing up with 50 Cent’s baby mama to the next Holiday Inn assembly. Imagine the desperately jealous looks on the faces of the Cobra Kai aryans…
  • Jason Biggs Pisses on Chelsea Handler

    17 October 2014, 2:38 pm by: Lex

    I’ve never done shit by popular demand. I don’t care to be popular. I’m mildly dyslexic, which means I hate the world for making me an ogre. But when a bunch of you including one girl who is all that really matters asked to see Jason Biggs peeing on…
  • Sylvie Meis Wears Lingerie Well

    17 October 2014, 1:31 pm by: Lex

    Sylvie Meis is that Dutch lingerie model whose soccer player husband dumped her because cancer left her unable to make any additional babies. That seems fair. Many lesser men would just stick with the marriage and bitterly call their wife that barren cancer…
  • Rumer Willis Books a Shoe Store Gig

    17 October 2014, 12:28 pm by: Lex

    When Lady Gaga sings at a hipster shoe store in Brooklyn, it’s record company promotional kitsch. If you’re Rumer Willis, it’s the best gig you can book. Being the oldest Willis daughter, Rumer decided it was time she pretended to have a job. She chose…
  • President Names Ebola Czar to Wrap This Shit Up

    17 October 2014, 12:13 pm by: Lex

    It’s hard to pinpoint when the government begrudgingly admits it has no idea how to handle a problem. But you could go with the moment the Commander in Chief announces he’s naming a Czar to handle the situation. Obama named an Ebola Czar this morning and…
  • War Machine’s Ultimate Hold

    17 October 2014, 10:23 am by: Matt

    War Machine attempted to strangle himself with a bed sheet while in jail cell awaiting trial on badly assaulting his girlfriend charges and must have tapped out before a prison guard cut him free. His lawyers clearly told him he’s legally fucked for about…

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