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  • Coachella Banning Selfie-Sticks

    1 April 2015, 12:22 pm by: Lex

    Coachella and Lollapalooza and other music festivals have started outlawing selfie-sticks at their venues because they remind concert-goers that they just paid three hundred bucks to be squeezed next to 20,000 dicks they can’t stand on Facebook. While the…
  • Charlie Riina in A Thong

    1 April 2015, 11:52 am by: Lex

    I give up, that’s just poetry right there. Nobody is buying this water, but sticking anything next to a good looking girl’s tight ass is still the best way to sell shit. It’s not a four dollar bottle of tap water, it’s your cock, if you pay the four…
  • Getty Heir Suffers Traumatic Rectal Injury, And Also Death

    1 April 2015, 11:26 am by: Lex

    Just hope that when your number is called the words ‘traumatic rectal injury’ are not part of the coroner’s report. Police found oil fortune heir Andrew Getty dead in his Hollywood Hills home. His girlfriend called the cops to alert them of his…
  • Harvey Weinstein Accuser A Pro

    1 April 2015, 11:04 am by: Matt

    Ambra Gutierrez, the model who accused Harvey Weinstein of groping her, testified against Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in his underage prostitution case four years ago. Apparently Gutierrez found herself at one of Berlusconi’s summer house orgies…
  • Michael Jackson Prank Called Russell Crowe

    1 April 2015, 10:34 am by: Matt

    Russell Crowe firmly believes the King of Pop prank called him repeatedly over a period of several years although it’s unclear how he verified this. Clearly it is more flattering to believe the most famous music artist ever is calling you and not the…
  • Springsteen’s Daughter Rides A Horse

    1 April 2015, 10:07 am by: Matt

    Bruce Springsteen and his background singer’s daughter Jessica Springsteen recently attended the US Open Polo Championship. Her boyfriend Nic Roldan is a professional polo player which brings in enough cash to care for less than one horse. Springsteen is a…
  • Olivia Wilde, Hero

    1 April 2015, 9:33 am by: Matt

    Olivia Wilde wrote a blowhard essay to accompany her Self magazine photo shoot which repeatedly referenced how she is not in good shape after giving birth and graphically referred to wearing “ice diapers” to cool her birth jets. “In fact, I’m softer…
  • Dave Chappelle Can’t Win

    1 April 2015, 9:06 am by: Matt

    A guy was arrested for throwing a banana peel at Dave Chappelle during a live show and striking him in the leg. Christian Englander was booked on disorderly conduct and battery. He claims he had eaten the banana earlier and just happened to have the peel on…
  • Iggy Azalea Talks to Kids About Her New Tits

    31 March 2015, 3:25 pm by: Lex

    Oh, boy, was Iggy Azalea mortified when ExtraTV had ten year old child actor Nicholas Bechtel ask her about spilling the beans on her new fake tits when nobody was asking. Azalea paused for astonished effect just like in rehearsal then opened up her heart:…
  • David Lee Roth Head Banger And Shit Around The Web

    31 March 2015, 3:00 pm by: Jack

    Elderly Jewish woman David Lee Roth pulled one of his patented old school mi stand moves on Jimmy Kimmel Live and promptly bloodied his nose. This is a certain sign it’s time to retire to the luxury of young models who will spend the night at your house…

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