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  • Kourtney Single Again Because She’s Old

    56m By Elliot Wolf
    There are no pamphlets or set of instructions when you come in close contact with a Kardashian. Scientists and other experts are still having a difficult time deciphering how the mixture of a below average R&B singer’s DNA fused with an overdue abortion and…
  • Bella Hadid Wants To Be Just Like This Celebrity

    2h By Sam Robeson
      Japanese sex robot Bella Hadid lights up the cover of the new Allure Magazine with her lifeless dour mechanical face, and also apparently possesses the advanced humanoid capability of carrying out an interview. Those Japanese. Bravo. I mean it. The fake…
  • Lena Dunham Shares List Of Baby Names

    3h By Sam Robeson
      First off, Lena Dunham looks not horrifying in the picture above, and it’s pretty disconcerting. If we can’t rely on Dunham to look like a halfheartedly trans Pillsbury Doughboy, what can we rely on? Dunham being a psycho ex-girlfriend, that’s what.…
  • Kathy Griffin Survived Backlash With The Help Of Kardashians

    4h By Elliot Wolf
    Kathy Griffen may not be the most intelligent, most beautiful, or funniest woman around town, but she knows how to survive. And whose survival techniques are better to emulate than that of the human cockroaches known as the Kardashians. Not only do they…
  • Culkin Into Hot Asians And Becoming An Adult

    Mon 1:15pm By Elliot Wolf
    Macaulay Culkin doesn’t want anymore fame, he just wants to make “tiny little Asian babies.” He’s practicing procreation with another child star that’s most likely just as broken as him on the inside. You’d have to be if the man you’ve chosen to…
  • Amanda Bynes Still Owns Extravagant Possessions

    Mon 10:15am By Elliot Wolf
    The two most commonly pilfered items on this planet are lighters and pens. And just like rape and murder, when your ballpoint or Bic is missing, the offender is usually someone you know. Imagine how upset you would be after a friend permanently borrows a pen…
  • Bruce Willis Staring In MoviePass’ First Film

    Sun 8:30am By Elliot Wolf
    Have you ever had a terrible idea, and halfway through things, instead of cutting your losses, you continue on continuing on? Typically that’s how you either end up with herpes or believing you can turn a mediocre harebrained business idea into millions.…
  • Britney Spears Sister Seeing Backlash For Letting Daughter Use Shotgun

    Sat 8:30am By Elliot Wolf
    Being related to Britney Spears is about as bad as it gets. Because when she’s your sister you can’t even enjoy mediocrity in peace. Jamie Lynn Spears isn’t technically a celebrity. She’s more famous for being a non-talented next of kin than her Oscar…
  • Celebrate Mr. Skin’s 19th Birthday By Joining for Only $4 a Month

    Fri 3:15pm By WWTDD
    Mr. Skin has been celebrating movie nudity for 19 glorious years and that’s something to celebrate. Shout it from the rooftops, people, it’s Mr. Skin’s birthday and he’s giving US a gift. He’s thoughtful like that. For a limited time only – like…
  • Ruby Rose Batwoman Role To Focus On Sexual Preference Rather Than Saving Day

    Fri 1:15pm By Elliot Wolf
    There used to be a time where no one wondered or worried about who their favorite fictional superheroes were having sex with. But welcome to 2018, where it’s important to know if Superman is pro or anti-vax, how Spiderman feels about illegal immigration, and…