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  • FEMEN Protests Laws Banning FEMEN

    27 February 2015, 3:39 pm by: Lex

    The way in which European nations teeter between socialism and totalitarianism amuses me. Mostly because I don’t have to live there. In France, there are two parties. The Let Muslims In So What If they Kill a Few Jews Party and the Kill All The Muslims, The…
  • Mr. Spock Died For Real This Time And Shit Around The Web

    27 February 2015, 3:00 pm by: Jack

    Leonard Nimoy, Mr. Spock himself, died today at the age of 83 of COPD. His spirit was not passed to Dr. McCoy because he’s dead too. How much you wanna bet that the last one to go will be that horse back riding asshole William Shatner? He lived long and…
  • Salma Hayek Seems To Like Her New Gig

    27 February 2015, 2:41 pm by: Lex

    It’s nearly impossible to sell shit to women without implying their selection will make them cum like lesbian freshmen. I don’t see the same thing in razor and truck ads. Maybe a little bigger dick implications, but there’s no expectation that the new…
  • Baby in a Box

    27 February 2015, 1:53 pm by: Lex

    Ever at the forefront of social progress, Indiana is going to approve the use of ‘baby boxes’ at designated I don’t want my baby anymore drop off points. The newborn drops are mailboxes where you insert the baby close the door and the infant is…
  • Kanye Grieves Like No Other

    27 February 2015, 12:34 pm by: Lex

    Sometimes you peel back the layers on a guy you just assumed was an asshole and you’re able to confirm your suspicions. I’d recommend this for days when there’s nothing good on TV. Kanye West broke down in tears on BBC radio talking about the recent…
  • Eddie Redmayne Nails Down Next Oscar

    27 February 2015, 12:05 pm by: Lex

    British actor nobody’s ever heard of, Eddie Redmayne wasted no time in locking down Oscar number two, agreeing to portray Einar Wegener, the world’s first transgender reassignment patient. Imagine the harrowing tale of a 1930′s Danish male artists who…
  • Iggy Azalea And Nick Young Temporarily Regal

    27 February 2015, 11:28 am by: Matt

    Let’s say Iggy Azalea and Nick Young have $30 million between them and haven’t spent it all at Foot Locker or Sizzler. With their respective career paths of mediocre shot heist and albino rapper they should have full earning potential until next Boxing…
  • Selena Gomez Sage Advice

    27 February 2015, 11:04 am by: Matt

    Selena Gomez posted a grammatically challenged inspirational spiel to her Instagram account for all the troubled souls who read in pictures. The intention was there but her execution launched past the orange cones and ended up mangled in netting and brain…
  • Artists Are Super Clever

    27 February 2015, 10:35 am by: Matt

    Milo Moire is a Swiss performance artist which is another term for subsidized unemployment. Moire drew an appropriate amount of minor attention last year for publicly squatting over a canvass butt naked and plopping paint filled eggs from her vagina. Art or…
  • Russian Guy Has Balls Cut Off

    27 February 2015, 10:05 am by: Matt

    Russian soap opera actor Dmitry Nickolaev met a blonde chick at a bar and at some point he got drunk and started making out with her in a sauna. At that point he blacked out and woke up with his balls cut off. To reiterate, this happened in Russia. Police…

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