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  • Apparently It’s Thanksgiving

    27 November 2014, 12:16 pm by: Lex

    Obama pardoned an Ebola riddled turkey and launched it free from the West Wing balcony so no single person should know the stigma of Ebola. This year, we’ll all be dead by Christmas. Cancel the shopping. Spend time with your loved ones and write a goodbye…
  • Sophia Bush Braless

    26 November 2014, 5:59 pm by: Lex

    Girls without bras shopping for lingerie is a much needed break from watching 99-Cent stores burn to the ground. Angry mobs around the country are outraged at cops, and apparently at the former Vietnamese boat people who worked their asses off to own 99-Cent…
  • Rihanna’s New Fragrance Smells Like Bad Sex

    26 November 2014, 3:59 pm by: Lex

    Nobody understands the aroma of rogue love better than Rihanna. It might smell like the back of Chris Brown’s hand or the taste of a Barbados fishing charter boat deck after too many mojitos and Strawberry Cough, but mostly to Rihanna, it smells like:…
  • Christina Milian No Underwear

    26 November 2014, 3:07 pm by: Lex

    A woman never looks more serious than when she’s gazing into the distance without any underpants on. The thoughts that swirl deep within her cranium. Did I do right to divorce The Dream? What happens if I tell the world my nipples tingle several minutes…
  • Roseanne Was Never Funny And Shit Around The Web

    26 November 2014, 3:00 pm by: Jack

    Hutt gangster Roseanne Barr posted a picture of her mutilated chemical-peeled face and said she had been beaten by Bill Cosby. Not funny. Cosby is a rapist not a woman beater. Also it’s Roseanne, so inherently not funny. See Roseanne’s fucked up grille, if…
  • Old People Aren’t All Cool

    26 November 2014, 2:24 pm by: Matt

    If your grandmother posted selfies of her ass on the Internet you’d disown your entire family. If an Associated Press photographer starts documenting her senior citizen husband and herself naked around the house to show the beauty of aging, it’s…
  • Cheryl Hines Finds A Nugget

    26 November 2014, 2:07 pm by: Matt

    Cheryl Hines shared a delightful anecdote about her serially sexual deviant and Quasimoto resembling husband Robert Kennedy VII who just happens to have billions of dollars. Kennedy is surely rehabilitated following his well documented psychotic cheating…
  • I Believe The Children Pimps Are Our Future

    26 November 2014, 1:30 pm by: Lex

    When did we become a nation that punishes the entrepreneurial spirit? Outrage ensued over a high school senior in Florida who turned her less bright future chick classmates into working whores via a virtual pimp station on Facebook. To me, this sounds like…
  • Khloe Kardashian Has Problem Ass

    26 November 2014, 12:54 pm by: Lex

    Remember when Lululemon sent out a recall notice because ladies with enormous haunches were stretching their yoga pants to the point of being profane? Time to loosen the rules on the email spam filter. Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
  • Irina Shayk Wears Bikinis

    26 November 2014, 12:22 pm by: Lex

    I don’t know why the world needs 837 women’s swimwear lines. They’re all using the same models to sell the same bikinis that look fucking amazing if you’re a supermodel, slightly less so for a soccer mom from New Brunswick who thinks skipping dessert…

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