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  • Those Are Selena Gomez’s Ass Cheeks

    31 July 2014, 10:39 pm by: The Superficial

    Photo Boy and I are catching Guardians of The Galaxy in the morning, so almost like she sensed we could really use eight billion pageviews to justify beefing an entire business day, here’s Selena Gomez wearing tiny shorts with her ass cheeks hanging out.…
  • And Now For The Time Chris Pratt Showed Amy Poehler His Penis

    31 July 2014, 9:46 pm by: The Superficial

    Jimmy Fallon has completely turned me off to NBC late night talk shows because instead of actually engaging his guests in interesting conversations, he just makes them do a bunch of stupid viral bullshit so millennials will Tumblr/reddit/Tindrgrind it the next…
  • The Crap We Missed – Thursday 7.31.14

    31 July 2014, 3:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for Hepatitus jokes (Haha! That dock has it now!) and pretending you wouldn’t happily die under the crushing weight of whatever Coco‘s ass is filled with. Is it racist if I guess Kool-Aid?…
  • Justin Bieber’s With Michelle Rodriquez Now

    31 July 2014, 2:21 pm by: The Superficial

    Presumably because Zac Efron lacked too many of the soft, feminine features Michelle Rodriguez desires in a mate (Read: Vagina. He didn’t have a vagina.), here’s Justin Bieber partying with her in Ibiza yesterday because fucking with other people’s exes…
  • James Franco Tried To Get Stephen Colbert To Break Character, He Failed

    31 July 2014, 1:56 pm by: The Superficial

    I try not to post a lot of The Colbert Report clips because it’s way better written than anything you’ll ever see here, I mean, there’s no boobs. It doesn’t have boobs! *bangs table* TEE-ITS. But so far this week, he’s taken the piss out of Kim…
  • Kate Upton Prayed To Be Curvy, She Can Stop Now

    31 July 2014, 12:52 pm by: The Superficial

    Kate Upton is the cover interview for Elle UK‘s August issue where she complains about how hard it is being pretty because if there’s anything us normies love it’s hearing about the struggles of being beautiful. Nothing but a smooth, easy, homely life…
  • Martha Stewart Has A Drone

    31 July 2014, 12:03 pm by: The Superficial

    Martha Stewart made assloads of headlines earlier in the week by calling Blake Lively‘s website “stupid,”, yet hardly anybody’s paying attention to the love letter Martha Stewart wrote to her drone in Time magazine. Yup, that’s right. Martha Stewart…
  • Who Ordered The Flapjacks?

    31 July 2014, 10:34 am by: The Superficial

    At Larry’s Blue Star Truck Stop Cafe we pride ourselves on giving customers friendly down home cooking served by familiar faces that feel like kin. Which is why Lulubel here has been serving up hash browns since 1986 when she started working with us at the…
  • Justin Bieber’s Still F*cking With Orlando Bloom

    30 July 2014, 10:35 pm by: The Superficial

    catwolf9899‘s good people. Justin Bieber is a little bitch. Which is really all the introduction I need here, but just in case, here are new details from his brush-up with Orlando Bloom that, just like earlier accounts, still involve him making a smartass…
  • Gisele Bundchen Bikini Photos And Other News

    30 July 2014, 9:41 pm by: The Superficial

    - Joaquin Phoenix playing Doctor Strange is almost a done deal. - Whoopi Goldberg defended Roman Polanski, so why not Stephen A. Smith? - Leanna Decker is a redhead with big breasts, why we’re alive. - Lana Del Rey is a giant hypocrite. - Alessandra…
  • The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 7.30.14

    30 July 2014, 4:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed that starts off with a photo I can only hope became a horrific crime scene and ends with five photos that I’m positive did. If you guessed public defecation, congratulations, you’re an L.A. County deptuy now.…
  • Kim Kardashian To Adrienne Bailon: ‘Shut Up About My Fat Brother I Don’t Care About’

    30 July 2014, 3:30 pm by: The Superficial

    Kim Kardashian hasn’t spoken to Rob since her wedding where he wouldn’t stop being fat for her pictures and left instead. It was a simple request! Anyway, his ex Adrienne Bailon is now in the business of trashing their time together on account of him…
  • Megan Fox Isn’t George Zimmerman

    30 July 2014, 2:45 pm by: The Superficial

    Because you don’t come to this site to read about how small your dick is for cowering like a pussy behind guns, here’s Megan Fox at the Mexico City premiere of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where I’ll assume the promotional poster featured the Turtles…
  • George Zimmerman Is Randomly Guarding Businesses Now, Oh Good

    30 July 2014, 1:39 pm by: The Superficial

    “George, they infiltrated the police, George. We’re sitting ducks.” “There’s a gun inside my rectum. You know what to do.” When we last left George Zimmerman, he was attempting to make money by competing in underground fight clubs to benefit The…
  • How Hot Did Selena Gomez Look While Justin Bieber Got Punched In The Face?

    30 July 2014, 12:33 pm by: The Superficial

    Chipmunk hooker hot? I’m going with chipmunk hooker hot. Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Ivon Miguel/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News, Splash NewsRead More ...
  • Divorce? What Divorce?

    30 July 2014, 11:53 am by: The Superficial

    Over the past two weeks, the New York Post has dedicated its life to proving Jay Z and Beyonce are getting a divorce because he cheated with Rihanna, so here’s Beyonce’s first attempt at either refuting or downplaying those rumors by posting an Instagram…
  • Justin Bieber Pissed Off Legolas By Bragging About Miranda Kerr

    30 July 2014, 11:10 am by: The Superficial

    Now that Orlando Bloom is the hero the Internet deserves, but not the one it needs right now, here’s what prompted him to take a swing at a lesbian rapper early this morning, according to Page Six: “Justin was at one table, and Orlando was at another,” a…
  • Nathasha Henstridge Looks Like This Now And Other News

    30 July 2014, 10:14 am by: The Superficial

    - Jennifer Garner won’t let Ben Affleck be friends with Kevin Smith. - A woman named Princess abandoned her kids to blow a guy at Walmart? Get out. - Suns Out, Buns Out - Nobody gives a shit anymore, Miley Cyrus. - How I Learned To Love (Or At Least Read…
  • Orlando Bloom Took A Swing At Justin Bieber

    29 July 2014, 10:19 pm by: The Superficial

    Seen here partying his dick off in Spain, Orlando Bloom reportedly took a swing at Justin Bieber Wednesday morning Ibiza time causing the hardest rapper in all of Canada-land to flee a restaurant because of the prettiest elf in Middle Earth. And to the…
  • The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 7.29.14

    29 July 2014, 4:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which pretty much wouldn’t have happened without Instagram boobs and an unhealthy (and I’m just now noticing incestuous…maybe I should swap out that pic, oh look, beer!) injection of Brazilian ass. It’s like…
  • Stephen Colbert Destroyed Kim Kardashian’s App

    29 July 2014, 3:13 pm by: The Superficial

    Over the past few weeks, there’ve been no less than 800 novel-length takedowns of the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood app which I didn’t read because I only need two words to tell me not to touch it, and those words are Kim Kardashian. As for the rest of…
  • Holy Ben Affleck’s Butt Crack, Batman!

    29 July 2014, 2:39 pm by: The Superficial

    I’m shooting myself in the face for that headline. Don’t worry. When my parents watched me head out for college 16 years ago, they watched with wonder as I even went in the first place, Mom, and somehow graduated without dropping out after a year to get…
  • Remember The Other Day When I Said Lindsay Lohan Was Looking Good?

    29 July 2014, 1:42 pm by: The Superficial

    Yeah, forget all that. Forget it even happened. I have a drinking problem. Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash NewsRead More ...
  • Come For The Ninja Turtles, Stay For The 9/11

    29 July 2014, 1:03 pm by: The Superficial

    Paramount recently released a new promotional poster for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles‘ upcoming release in Australia which featured the Turtles jumping out of an exploding skyscraper because their lives are dope and they do dope shit. Which seems pretty…
  • Hilary Duff Getting A Bikini Rubdown, Anyone?

    29 July 2014, 12:07 pm by: The Superficial

    Above are screencaps from Hilary Duff‘s new video “Chasing The Sun.” And below is said video along with all the sound and “music” that comes with it, so let me suggest immediately skipping that and clicking right into the on-set bikini pics which are…
  • Beyonce’s Moving Out

    29 July 2014, 11:32 am by: The Superficial

    Yesterday, we found out that Jay Z cheated on Beyonce with Rihanna which was also the reason for Solange‘s elevator attack if we’re all going to start believing lizard people talking points now. Why make them go through the trouble of secretly putting mind…
  • Jack Bauer Unprofessional? I Won’t Believe It

    29 July 2014, 10:35 am by: The Superficial

    “But there’s a.. there’s a bomb in that whiskey. Someone has to drink it.” “Sir, that’s a parking meter.” “Then how did it know my name?!” Because voicing a character on a Star Wars cartoon has filled him with unbridled hubris, Freddie Prinze…
  • Leonardo DiCaprio’s Girlfriend Is Topless And Other News

    28 July 2014, 9:26 pm by: The Superficial

    - Nina Dobrev is definitely banging Ben McKenzie. Or Orlando Bloom. - Cara Delevingne wore a rabbit fur jacket to Leonardo DiCaprio‘s wildlife event. - I Declare You, Queen of The Selfie - LeAnn Rimes wore makeup for a no makeup selfie for charity. Of…
  • The Crap We Missed – Monday 7.28.14

    28 July 2014, 5:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed that’s got the usual butts and HOLY FUCK! faces plus all the stuff from Comic-Con that interested me which was exactly four pics; this old lady‘s cleavage, this old lady‘s cleavage, Baby Jessica, and Judah…
  • Jenny McCarthy’s Son Calls The Cops On Her, Is My New Favorite Person

    28 July 2014, 4:27 pm by: The Superficial

    Because her name’s Jenny McCarthy, Jenny McCarthy thought it’d be a great idea to talk about how shitty of a parent Jenny McCarthy is because – haha, you’ll never believe this – her son – hahaha – her 12-year-old son – BAHAHA – calls the cops…

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