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  • The Crap We Missed – Monday 9.15.14

    15 September 2014, 4:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I specifically chose this lead shot, not because it’s probably the creepiest photo I’ve ever seen, but because I think we can all agree that if Mitch Winehouse would’ve gone a little heavier on the…
  • No, Beyonce Isn’t Pregnant Again, Shut Up

    15 September 2014, 2:51 pm by: The Superficial

    Back in July, Beyonce started changing song lyrics to make it sound she was getting a divorce which turned out to be a bullshit hoax to sell tickets. It was a lesson learned by everyone, and only an idiot would try pulling the same stunt twice, so here’s Jay…
  • And Now Back To Sexy Celebrities In Bikinis, Or Just Demi Lovato

    15 September 2014, 2:05 pm by: The Superficial

    Now that I wrote a short novel about corporal punishment, here’s Demi Lovato lounging poolside in a bikini which is about as non-controversial as it gets until you find yourself wondering where Wilmer Valderrama is and start Googling local high schools to…
  • On Adrian Peterson And ‘Whooping’ Kids

    15 September 2014, 12:44 pm by: The Superficial

    Because the Ray Rice elevator video wasn’t enough to remind everyone that the NFL has Read More ...
  • Nicki Minaj Doesn’t Want You To See This Photo

    15 September 2014, 10:53 am by: The Superficial

    There’s nothing even close to natural about Nicki Minaj‘s ass, but apparently it’s not gargantuan enough for her live performances because here she is performing at Fashion Rocks where a photographer managed to catch a shot of her buttpad. Except in the…
  • When Kanye Says Stand, Don’t Give Him No Shit About No Wheelchairs

    15 September 2014, 10:08 am by: The Superficial

    Because Kanye West is an egomaniacal man-baby, he lost his shit not once but twice in Australia during two separate shows where audience members didn’t immediately stand up when he told them to. I mean, it’s not like they were in a wheelchair or something,…
  • Good Morning, Lisa Opie, And Other News

    15 September 2014, 8:00 am by: The Superficial

    - Michael Che jumps from The Daily Show to Weekend Update. - Lindsay Lohan claims she handled Whitney Houston‘s body bag. - Sunday Is A Good Day For Lingerie - Selena Gomez keeps getting hotter – so Justin Bieber won’t leave her. Goddammit. - I…
  • The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 4.23

    13 September 2014, 10:37 am by: The Superficial

    Now that our server has finally stopped crying and repeatedly scrubbing itself in the shower thanks to The Fappening, welcome to the triumphant return of The Most Important People on The Internet featuring a robust assortment of shit-tastical comments that…
  • The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.12.14

    12 September 2014, 1:30 pm by: The Superficial

    Alright, folks, Photo Boy is still out of town. However, he was gracious enough to slap together The Crap We Missed last night because I never wiped his prints off that ice cream truck. (Inside joke. Or am I thinking of attorney-client privilege?) Anyway, you…
  • Everybody Hates Ariana Grande

    12 September 2014, 12:48 pm by: The Superficial

    “Oh, yeah, I like this.” – Someone with a probation officer Earlier in the week, Ariana Grande was accused of being a 12-year-old (Shut up, that girl is 12. SHE’S 12!) pain in the ass diva in Australia which she naturally denied. Except here comes…
  • Rihanna Song Pulled From Thursday Night Football

    12 September 2014, 11:21 am by: The Superficial

    “HAHAHAHA! I’mma haunt you forever.” Thanks to Chris Brown beating the shit out of Rihanna for looking at his phone, CBS decided to pull “Run This Town” from last night’s Thursday Night Football so people won’t have to think about the NFL only…
  • Iggy Azalea Admits She’s In A Sex Tape, But Claims She Was Underage

    12 September 2014, 10:32 am by: The Superficial

    Up until about 30 minutes ago, I couldn’t tell you who or what an Iggy Azalea is, or how she’s standing next to Rita Ora because I just assumed they’re the same person, but now I know that she’s some sort of singer with a Twitter account who just…
  • Oscar Pistorius Guilty of Culpable Homicide, Not Going To Jail

    12 September 2014, 9:09 am by: The Superficial

    “Should I begin making with the snot?” “Nah, kid, you ain’t going to jail. Save it for outside.” Yesterday, Oscar Pistorius was found not guilty of murder despite firing a gun four times into a closed bathroom killing his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp…
  • Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

    12 September 2014, 8:38 am by: The Superficial

    - Anna Wintour‘s 73 questions is a class study in non-fuck giving. - Tori Spelling is going to pretend her marriage is in shambles for a second season. - Bouncing Breasts GIFS? Get in there. - Mike Tyson responds well to being asked about that time he…
  • Amanda Cerny In A Bikini: The Crap I Missed

    11 September 2014, 5:00 pm by: The Superficial

    Alright, folks, Photo Boy is at a funeral today which means no The Crap We Missed and all the Prince Charles that entails. Fortunately, here’s Amanda Cerny in some hot-ass bikini pics to make up for that. It’s almost like she sensed I needed them, but…
  • Papa, What’s Porn? A Very Special Bertney Story

    11 September 2014, 3:59 pm by: The Superficial

    A WARNING TO OUR READERS: This edition of Bertney tackles the very recent and sensitive subject of her “boyfriend,” for lack of a better term, David Lucado cheating on her with pornographic actress Cali Lee. It’s up to Papa to explain to Bertney what…
  • The Palins Beat The Shit Out of An Entire Party

    11 September 2014, 2:10 pm by: The Superficial

    “I’ll goshdarn say it again, Moose Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.” In Matthew 5:5 Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” Later, in that same chapter, he expands on his message in verse 39: “If anyone…
  • Peggy From ‘Mad Men’ Is Still In A Bikini

    11 September 2014, 1:00 pm by: The Superficial

    “Alright, Ms. Moss, we gotcher, uh, standard paparazzi agreement here. You make with a boob grab, couple spread eagles, a nice, little seductive over the shoulder, and bada bing bada boom, we cut you a fat juicy check for your space church thingy.”…
  • Ray Rice Found Jesus And Stopped Drinking, Everybody, Hallelujah!

    11 September 2014, 12:07 pm by: The Superficial

    While the NFL finds itself in even more shit after a law enforcement official confirmed to the AP that execs had a copy of the Ray Rice elevator video since April, Ray Rice’s handlers are staying focused on making sure they’ve done enough spin before he…
  • Hey, Aaron Carter, Stop Creeping Out My Girlfriend Hilary Duff

    11 September 2014, 11:25 am by: The Superficial

    Shortly after Hilary Duff separated from Mike Comrie, the proto-Bieber turned freakishly jacked opportunist Aaron Carter professed his undying love for his long lost ex on Twitter which she’s avoided talking about until now. And, surprise, it creeps her…
  • Oscar Pistorius Found Not Guilty of Murder

    11 September 2014, 10:03 am by: The Superficial

    Just in case you think America is the only country where famous athletes can basically do whatever they want to women with little to no consequence, Oscar Pistorius was just acquitted of murder of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp after shooting her four times…
  • Good Morning, Natalie Burn, And Other News

    11 September 2014, 8:43 am by: The Superficial

    - Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin are being spotted in public. This shit’s happening. - Since everyone enjoyed Jared Leto‘s dick so much, here’s Zac Efron‘s hairy nipples. - Redheads Are Masters of The Seductive Arts - Melissa Rivers tells jokes,…
  • And Now The Jared Leto Dick GIF

    10 September 2014, 9:13 pm by: The Superficial

    A few weeks ago, we learned that Jared Leto has a giant penis with a head shaped like a Praetorian Guard thanks to Alexis Arquette‘s remarkably accurate knowledge of Roman helmets. And now here’s a GIF of Jared Leto grabbing said Roman warrior penis from a…
  • The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 9.10.14

    10 September 2014, 4:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, a surprisingly large collection thanks to Fashion Rocks. Admittedly, I don’t know what the fuck that is, but apparently is was brought to you by Butts™ and sponsored by More Butts™. That said, this gallery is…
  • Miley Cyrus And The Art of Pineapple Semen

    10 September 2014, 2:57 pm by: The Superficial

    Miley Cyrus‘ “Dirty Hippie” art show opens today, and if you have no idea what that is, congratulations, you only looked at her naked boobs in V Magazine without reading any of the words. We’re kin. Except if you do read the words like I only just now…
  • Why Y’All Booing Justin #BBare? Dat’s Racism!

    10 September 2014, 1:41 pm by: The Superficial

    Lemme get this all straight: Jennifer Lopez can flash her granny ass all over da stage, but da second my sexy, young boy #BBare gives y’all some dark sexual chocolate, mothafuckas be booing his ass? Dat’s some Rodney King shit right here. Next you gonna…
  • You Kids Want Ass? Jennifer Lopez Will Give You Ass

    10 September 2014, 12:31 pm by: The Superficial

    With Nicki Minaj cornering the ass market, it’s important to remember that it was Jennifer Lopez, not Kim Kardashian (What’s wrong with you?), who brought giant butts into the mainstream. So here she is performing at Fashion Rocks last night while flashing…
  • Bertney And The No Good, Gosh Darn Secret That Wouldn’t Stay Secret

    10 September 2014, 11:32 am by: The Superficial

    Bertney And The No Good, Gosh Darn Secret That Wouldn’t Stay A Secret A Learning Story For Junior Secret Keepers A long time ago Bertney got to be in a real, live movie. She doesn’t remember much about it, and has never seen it on account of it not being…
  • Good God, Raquel Rischard, And Other News

    10 September 2014, 10:34 am by: Photo Boy

    Posted By Photo Boy - Reese Witherspoon is a heroin-addict hiker in Wild. But what about the baby?! - Hey, remember Jared Leto‘s gladiator helmet dick? That was only the beginning. - Cameras Are A Girl’s (Boobs’) Best Friend - Kris Jenner in a bikini,…
  • The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 9.9.14

    9 September 2014, 4:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which contains a Lindsay Lohan facial and a kid staring at you while you stare at her mom’s ass. It’s practically a Disney movie. There’s even a Prince, a hideous monster and a terrified Kevin Smith who just…

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