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  • The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.20.14

    20 August 2014, 3:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where I think I may have solved this whole Jared Leto‘s penis is a Praetorian Guard thing by finding this Kelly Osbourne pic. Which isn’t to say I think she had sex with Alexis Arquette, but more of a suggestion…
  • Rihanna’s Touching Her Vagina Because ‘School Kills.’ Sure, Why Not?

    20 August 2014, 2:48 pm by: The Superficial

    Whenever I stick my hands down my pants and complain about the education system, people are always like, “Sir, this is a Starbucks,” or, “I don’t know how he keeps getting out of the car, we have child locks,” but apparently when Rihanna does it,…
  • Farrah Abraham’s ‘Research’ Magically Turned Into A $544,000 Stripping Job

    20 August 2014, 1:57 pm by: The Superficial

    Last week, we learned that Farrah Abraham took a cocktail waitress job at a strip club where she ended up stripping herself but, like, totally for research, you guys. Except apparently that research involves signing a half-a-million contract to keep stripping…
  • Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon’s Divorce Should Be Here Any Minute Now

    20 August 2014, 1:06 pm by: The Superficial

    Mariah Carey used to tweet lingerie photos to make people believe Nick Cannon gets to have sex with her which he absolutely does not. But those times are over now for even the freshest rose of love eventually wilts and hires spies to make sure nobody’s…
  • What Did Lindsay Lohan F*ck Up Now?

    20 August 2014, 12:15 pm by: The Superficial

    Involving Lindsay Lohan in any professional project is, without fail, the fucking stupidest idea any person could ever have, so here she is posing for a selfie with Tina Fey that was splashed all over the Internet yesterday after Lindsay posted it to…
  • Nicki Minaj’s Butt Made You A Video

    20 August 2014, 11:05 am by: The Superficial

    If yesterday was Breast Day, then today is Nicki Minaj‘s Ass Day because here’s four minutes and 49 seconds of it shaking and rubbing all over shit. (I’d say “twerking,” but that’s Miley Cyrus’ word she stole from black people.) I also had Photo…
  • Jared Leto’s Penis Is A Massive Roman Guard

    20 August 2014, 10:25 am by: The Superficial

    In an interview with FrontiersLA, Alexis Arquette revealed that not only did she have sex with Jared Leto, but it was back when she was still Robert Arquette and that Jared’s dick apparently looks like a giant feathered helmet which can’t be healthy. One…
  • Adrianne Curry’s In A Bikini, Too, And Other News

    20 August 2014, 9:00 am by: The Superficial

    - Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart might be back together. He cleans the pool so well! - When Lindsay Lohan dies, there’s a backup waiting. - The Green Cheeky Bottom Chivette Reveals Herself - The only person getting wet from Vin Diesel naked is Vin…
  • The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 8.19.14

    19 August 2014, 3:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring this Mike Brown rally pic that I’m sure you guys are going to load up with positive affirmation after positive affirmation. There is simply no way this photo will result in a diatribe on race relations…
  • Kate Upton’s Ice Bucket Challenge Is Horseshit

    19 August 2014, 2:00 pm by: The Superficial

    The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge involves dumping buckets of freezing cold ice water over your head, and Kate Upton has huge, giant breasts that people want to see soaking wet, so on paper, this should’ve been the perfect combination to raise every single money…
  • It’s Safe Now, Apollo Theater, John McCain’s Here

    19 August 2014, 1:16 pm by: The Superficial

    Last year’s Apollo Theater fundraiser ended in Jamie Foxx grabbing Katie Holmes‘ next to Colin Powell, so this year he had his work cut out for him. Fortunately, John McCain was on hand, and if there’s one thing Republicans love, it’s apparently…
  • Katy Perry’s Breasts Went To A Water Park

    19 August 2014, 12:25 pm by: The Superficial

    Taylor Swift aside, the past 12 hours have been a pretty amazing time for breasts. So below is Katy Perry at Schlitterbahn Water Park in Kansas which is nowhere near as awesome as the time her ass fell out at Raging Waters, but at the end of the video, the…
  • Taylor Swift Wants To ‘Shake It Off,’ I’m On My Way

    19 August 2014, 11:44 am by: The Superficial

    I’m not a 15-year-old girl who got dumped before Homecoming (yet), so I couldn’t tell you how long it’s been since Taylor Swift‘s released a song, but here’s her new video for “Shake It Off“ anyway. Which is alarming for two reasons: 1. She…
  • Goddammit, Rocky, Your Mom Cher Said Not To Leave The House

    19 August 2014, 10:59 am by: The Superficial

    I would’ve also accepted, “Wait, where’s his little red tricycle?” which was Photo Boy’s contribution: THE SUPERFICIAL | About • Facebook • Twitter Photo: Splash NewsRead More ...
  • Good Morning, Paula Labaredas, And Other News

    19 August 2014, 10:03 am by: The Superficial

    - Gwyneth Paltrow is handling Chris Martin banging Jennifer Lawrence well. - Every goddamn celebrity doing the goddamn ALS Ice Challenge. - Hot chicks pulling off their clothes, anyone? - Ariana Grande might be a serial killer. Or something. - Funny Girl…
  • Jessica Simpson’s Breasts Commercial Has Breasts

    18 August 2014, 9:41 pm by: The Superficial

    Jessica Simpson‘s breasts breast Breastica Breast Breastson breast breasts signature fragrance breast video commercial breasts made breasts with breasts in them and the breasts were like breasts. Big ol’ titties. Breast breast. THE SUPERBREASTAL | Abreast…
  • The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.18.14

    18 August 2014, 3:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m going to get right into it today, because holy shit is this thing full of some fuckery. We’ve got Gerard Butler and Mel Gibson having a nice chat over lunch that Fish and I are entirely convinced is just…
  • Bertney Gets Back To Work

    18 August 2014, 2:23 pm by: The Superficial

    Bertney Gets Back To Work A Jump Into Reading! Story For Summer Super Kids Bertney had an extra fun summer vacation this year. She got to visit The Cheesecake Factory, get Boto-tox, and try on fancy britches that looked purty as pie when the nerdy man made…
  • Nina Agdal’s In A Bikini, Everybody Shut Up

    18 August 2014, 1:16 pm by: The Superficial

    There’ve been a lot of words written on the site today, too many if I’m being frank, that have nothing to do with Nina Agdal in a bikini, so honestly it’s a miracle the Earth hasn’t spun off its axis and careened into the sun yet. You’re lucky I got…
  • Demi Moore Gave Rumer Willis A Gun Cake

    18 August 2014, 12:43 pm by: The Superficial

    Apparently, everyone’s supposed to lose their shit over Demi Moore giving Rumer Willis a gun cake for her 26th birthday even though it’s supposedly a callback to her photo shoot with Tyler Shields. I’m a wiener-bitch liberal when it comes to guns, and…
  • Jenny McCarthy’s Breasts And, I Dunno, Something About Creative Arts

    18 August 2014, 11:40 am by: The Superficial

    The Creative Arts Emmys were yesterday and honored hard-working, dedicated individuals who diligently work behind-the-scenes to create all the shows we can’t shut up about. Except none of those people have huge, fake breasts, so here’s Jenny McCarthy.…
  • Justin Timberlake Called Madonna ‘My Ninja’ On Twitter, Is In Some Shit

    18 August 2014, 11:05 am by: The Superficial

    To celebrate the ancient day when dark forces penetrated this realm, manifesting themselves into the physical form we now know as Madonna, mortal slave to the bone hands, Justin Timberlake took to Twitter where he proclaimed the following message to all the…
  • The Police Caught War Machine Without Dog The Bounty Hunter? Impossible

    18 August 2014, 10:21 am by: The Superficial

    You can shoot an unarmed black kid six times in this country without most people batting an eye, but you’ll be goddamned if you beat the shit out of a porn star because we need them to jerk off. So after an intensive manhunt, US Marshals have finally…
  • That’s Lily Allen’s Nipple And Other News

    17 August 2014, 10:27 pm by: The Superficial

    - Beyonce wants to collaborate with Rihanna? BITCH RUN! - Fergie French kisses her son. I, wait, what? - Bikini Season Is Really Hitting Its Stride - So who wants to watch Katy Perry get her nose pierced? - Andrew Keegan from 10 Things I Hate About You is…
  • Jennifer Lawrence Is Banging Chris Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow’s Chris Martin

    15 August 2014, 6:27 pm by: The Superficial

    “Who’s gettin’ GOOPed now, bitch? WHA?” Gwyneth Paltrow is a wound tight, meticulous of curator macrobiotic living filtered through a sexy, breezy pashmina that only costs $25,000, so any single, working mom can afford it. Jennifer Lawrence… well,…
  • The Crap We Missed – Friday 8.15.14

    15 August 2014, 2:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Well, it’s Friday already and time for another The Crap We Missed, the daily post I put together that’s full of boobs, butts, “accidentally” naked boobs, boobs, butts and John Travolta wearing lipstick while Fish and I debate all day on whether the…
  • Why Is Chelsea Handler Naked? WHY?

    15 August 2014, 1:31 pm by: The Superficial

    Chelsea Handler slept her way onto television before becoming Jennifer Aniston‘s best friend, so sure, I guess that makes her a better person than a Kardashian. I’m not going to fight her on it. And the reason I bring any of that up is because she decided…
  • So Daryl Dixon Might Be Gay

    15 August 2014, 12:47 pm by: The Superficial

    If you’re like me, you probably know a lot of rednecks who love The Walking Dead because of all the guns, and the zombies, and the guns, so those people are in for a treat when Daryl Dixon, the most badass character on the show, turns out to be gay. Here’s…
  • An Excuse To Post The Alice Eve Topless GIF? On It

    15 August 2014, 12:22 pm by: The Superficial

    Alice Eve reportedly got engaged to her high school sweetheart, but instead of talking about whatever the hell I just said back there, I’m going to remember all those times her breasts were on the site while they were promoting Star Trek Into Darkness, and…
  • And Selena Gomez Is Banging Justin Bieber Again God F*cking Dammit!

    15 August 2014, 11:15 am by: The Superficial

    Because getting swatted at by Orlando Bloom (for a good reason) makes you look like a sad puppy, Selena Gomez is apparently over banging European dudes and/or Cara Delevingne at the same time and back to thinking Justin Bieber won’t screw whores behind her…

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