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  • Bertney’s Turkey Durkey Day!

    26 November 2014, 12:49 pm by: The Superficial

    Bertney’s Turkey Durkey Day! A Guide To Healthy Eating Bertney loved Thanksgiving. “It’s a whole day where I give food presents to my mouth!” she excitedly told a can of whipped cream the caterers had given her so she’d leave the kitchen. “More…
  • The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 4.31

    26 November 2014, 11:37 am by: The Superficial

    Welcome to another installment of The Most Important People on The Internet our weekly round-up of the horrible shit you people say in the comments which we sat on over the weekend in hopes that you’d fill this bitch up with awesome Bill Cosby captions. And…
  • Good Morning, Kat Torres, And Other News

    26 November 2014, 10:37 am by: The Superficial

    - Eva Mendes will acknowledge some sort of lifeform fell out of her vagina now. - Tila Tequila is posting breastfeeding pics already. Where’s the CDC? They need to see this. - Michael Lohan married Jon Gosselin‘s sloppy seconds. Oh, good. - I Dream of…
  • Ela Rose Topless in a Bikini is The Crap I Missed – Tuesday 11.25.14

    25 November 2014, 3:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Posted by Photo Boy It’s been a long day filling in for Fish that contained two rape posts, one of which playfully suggested maybe everyone in Ferguson is knee-jerk crazy and took a swipe at football worship, so I’m going to find a bunker to hide in. But…
  • Everyone’s Throwing Bill Cosby Under The Bus Now

    25 November 2014, 2:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Posted by Photo Boy While rioting has broken out once again in Ferguson, MO after protesters thoughtfully reviewed and found fault with the nearly 5,000 page grand jury report that was released only hours ago and led to the decision not to indict Darren Wilson…
  • Katherine Heigl Used John Mayer’s Penis To Get Engaged

    25 November 2014, 1:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    I stand by that headline entirely. Posted by Photo Boy John Mayer‘s penis has done all sorts of reckless shit. It went crazy after being in Jessica Simpson and made him say the n-word. It refused to marry Taylor Swift after they did it under the bleachers.…
  • Hopefully Lady Gaga Just Accidentally Pulled A Hannibal Buress

    25 November 2014, 12:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Posted by Photo Boy Remember Lady Gaga? Merkin Lady…ran around naked in the woods that time? Not ringing any bells? Well, she used to be a pop singer, but now she just does naked onstage costume changes, blows polka dot penises, and dry humps her backup…
  • Bette Midler Told Ariana Grande Not To Whore Herself

    25 November 2014, 11:30 am by: Photo Boy

    Posted by Photo Boy Ariana Grande looks like a child, but in reality she’s a grown woman who loves to dress like a prostitute and perform sultry dances to the terrible, terrible music she makes. To lecherous old men, this type of thing is irresistible. To…
  • Christian Bale Wanted To Play Batman Again

    25 November 2014, 10:00 am by: Photo Boy

    Posted by Photo Boy Before the Internet collectively shat itself over Ben Affleck being cast as Batman, there was fleeting hope that Christian Bale was going to return for a Justice League movie until he effectively shot that shit down. But now, to the…
  • Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

    25 November 2014, 9:00 am by: Photo Boy

    Posted by Photo Boy - Jennifer Aniston still has to talk about the Rachel haircut. - Demi Lovato says she has nothing in common with Miley Cyrus, but I believe penis cake would tell a whole different tale. - Amber Heard is tired of old penis is how I read…
  • The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.24.14

    24 November 2014, 4:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is a post awards show weekend, stuffed-to-the-gills bonanza of celebrity fuckery and stuff my near delirious mind made happen. Oh, and it’s also got almost all of the Baldwins, including Daniel who even the…
  • Bill Cosby’s ‘Fixer’ Comes Forward: A Pudding Pop of Rape Report

    24 November 2014, 3:26 pm by: The Superficial

    It’s been 72 hours since I last wrote about Bill Cosby, so naturally five more accusers have come forward along with a former NBC employee who claims that he stood guard outside of Cosby’s dressing room door The Cosby Show years while Dr. Huxtable brought…
  • The 2014 American Music Awards

    24 November 2014, 12:59 pm by: The Superficial

    Now that we’ve seen Nakedsaurus, Rise of The Sasquatch Nip Guardians, Cry For Me, Justintina, and BUTTFORCE 9000, here’s the rest of The 2014 American Music Awards which you’ll probably notice contains a disproportionate amount of Kate Beckinsale pics…
  • AMAs: Jennifer Lopez & Iggy Azalea Touched Butts

    24 November 2014, 12:33 pm by: The Superficial

    ABC explicitly warned Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea not to touch butts while performing “Booty” for the AMAs because it’s a family show. Which is funny because on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., another “family show” designed to promote Disney’s Marvel…
  • AMAs: Selena Gomez Didn’t Wear A Bra

    24 November 2014, 11:34 am by: The Superficial

    I wasn’t joking about gunning through these, so here’s Selena Gomez at the AMAs where she wore a braless dress and cry-sang about Justin Bieber because 22-year-olds are dumb. Congratulations, you are now the foremost expert on all things Selena Gomez and…
  • AMAs: Kendall & Kylie Brought The ‘Squatch

    24 November 2014, 10:53 am by: The Superficial

    Full Disclosure: I’ve got another giant-ass post to write about Bill Cosby, so I’m literally just throwing AMAs pics in your face starting with the least relevant and working my way up. Which is probably the greatest compliment I’ll ever give the…
  • AMAs: What The Hell Is A Bleona Qereti?

    24 November 2014, 10:01 am by: The Superficial

    According to Wikipedia, Bleona Qereti is the “Madonna of Albania” and a reality TV person on Bravo’s Euros of Hollywood. I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information, but let the record show that I tried to get to know a woman…
  • ‘Burt Macklin Fights Dinosaurs’ Trailer For A Trailer And Other News

    24 November 2014, 9:30 am by: The Superficial

    - Angelina Jolie slipped and let people see her smoking. TO THE DIVORCE-O-TRON! - LeAnn Rimes to step-sons: “Why don’t you have a record deal at 11 like I did?!” - Kirk Cameron will tell you how to talk to gay people now. - Fingers Crossed, Our Night…
  • Katy Perry’s Giant Breasts Twerking In A Bikini

    23 November 2014, 9:27 pm by: The Superficial

    Katy Perry got into some sort of fight with the paparazzi in Sydney on Friday and made fun of their tiny penises, but everybody seems to be friends now because here are bikini photos of her giant breasts that I’m posting now so they don’t get buried…
  • The Crap We Missed – Friday 11.21.14

    21 November 2014, 2:56 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the logical conclusion to the 138 Water shoots we post almost daily. And now I’m re-looking at that link and noticing that she’s hasn’t actually been penetrated by the bottle, so nevermind, we’ve still…
  • The Bill Cosby Shitstorm With Special Guests Glenn Beck & Donald Trump

    21 November 2014, 1:50 pm by: The Superficial

    And now for today’s onslaught of Bill Cosby news which brings two more accusers on top of yesterday’s Therese Serignese and Lou Ferrigno’s wife Carla for a grand total of four woman in the past 24 hours and presumably more the second I hit “Publish.”…
  • Lindsay Lohan Thinks She’s Poised For A Hollywood Comeback

    21 November 2014, 12:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Posted by Photo Boy Lindsay Lohan‘s starring run in Speed-the-Plow will end November 29th, but before she heads back to the states finally giving England a change to delouse their capitol city, she’s of course already talking about how successful her…
  • Kim Kardashian Is Already Prepared For Her Daughter To Pose Naked

    21 November 2014, 11:17 am by: The Superficial

    Constantly doing porn has made Kim Kardashian‘s lots of money along with unprecedented fame for her and her family who literally did nothing but be related to a woman Ray J peed on. But enough about why America needs to burn, here’s Kim response to the…
  • Gwyneth Paltrow Took A Run At Martha Stewart, She Missed

    21 November 2014, 10:21 am by: The Superficial

    Back in October, Martha Stewart dropped a nuclear pie bomb on Gwyneth Paltrow with a recipe titled “Conscious Coupling” complete with a description that took the piss right out of Gwyneth’s divorce. It was a laser-guided strike expected of someone who…
  • Good Morning, Miranda Kerr, And Other News

    21 November 2014, 9:08 am by: The Superficial

    - Chris Pratt will be Cowboy Ninja Viking. Whatever that means. - Refinery 29‘s shit-ass puff-piece on Scientology has some problems. - Nick Jonas really needs you to know he’s not a virgin anymore. - Jamie Oliver: Spanking: bad, secretly rubbing hot…
  • The Crap We Missed – Thursday 11.20.14

    20 November 2014, 3:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily dose of random celebrities you thought were dead mixed with women’s butts in yoga pants and excited gay dudes. I honestly have no clue how these things combine so harmoniously that you guys happily…
  • Marilyn Manson Denies Making A Rape Video With Lana Del Rey

    20 November 2014, 2:21 pm by: The Superficial

    While I was busy writing about rape, another sort of rape was apparently happening on the Internet because this world needs to burn. Only this one was fictional and may be a complete hoax. Via Pitchfork: Footage from an project featuring Marilyn Manson and…
  • All The Shit Happening With Bill Cosby

    20 November 2014, 1:10 pm by: The Superficial

    Instead of writing 27 different posts about Bill Cosby like I did yesterday, here’s everything that’s happened since his lawyer called Janice Dickinson a liar in one handy post even though at this point at least three more accusers will probably come…
  • Kim Kardashian Tries To Adopt Orphan In Thailand, Orphan’s Like ‘Nah’

    20 November 2014, 11:29 am by: The Superficial

    “I’m here now, child, your Fairy Buttmothe- why are you running?!” On a recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, supreme ass-clencher Kim Kardashian pretended to possess a soul capable of empathy and compassion by expressing interest in…
  • Lady Gaga Has An Armpit Tattoo, Also Side Boob

    20 November 2014, 11:00 am by: The Superficial

    Remember Lady Gaga? Used to be Paul from The Wonder Years? Eh, it doesn’t matter. Here she is showing off her new armpit tattoo in England which I’m posting because you can see her side boob, and side boob isn’t Bill Cosby raping people. “Allegedly.”…

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