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  • Here’s Coco’s Giant Anus Because F*ck It

    29 August 2014, 11:31 am by: The Superficial

    So it took me at least two hours to get Rihanna up, and I practically forced these Coco bikini pics into the site using a crowbar because apparently our database has “corrupt tables,” and I can’t even tell you who the hell’s bribing them. Couple that…
  • Rihanna’s In A Bikini And Other News

    29 August 2014, 10:05 am by: The Superficial

    - Jessica Alba‘s organic diaper company is worth a billion dollars. A BILLION. - I’m going to assume James Haven‘s response will be “Muuuurrder…” - A Bikini A Day Keeps The Doctor Away - Ariana Grande‘s brother is a fucking douchebag. - I…
  • The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.28.14

    28 August 2014, 4:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Thurday’s The Crap We Missed which will be your last one for the week, because I’m off tomorrow and no, not to wash Fish’s car in a bikini. Again. Anyway, you’ll also notice the gallery is a little light, because when I blow off work, I go…
  • Diane Sawyer Is Out There Blowing People

    28 August 2014, 3:22 pm by: The Superficial

    Appropriate pictures: I haz them. Whenever I teach my non-accredited journalism course “Internet Money Make You I Can” at the local Sheraton, the first thing I teach my students is that 95% of all reporting is dicks in mouths. Later, I’ll ask for a…
  • Beyonce’s Dad: ‘The Divorce Rumors Were A Hoax To Sell Tickets’

    28 August 2014, 1:30 pm by: The Superficial

    So one of two things are happening here: 1. Matthew Knowles reads the Internet and saw of all your conspiracy theories about Beyonce and Jay Z‘s divorce. 2. You’re all fucking detectives who probably solve murders in Hawaii without even inviting me.…
  • Joan Rivers Is Probably Dead (Update: Or Not)

    28 August 2014, 12:22 pm by: The Superficial

    Seen here making fun of Anne Hathaway‘s vagina as I’ll always remember her, Joan Rivers was rushed to the hospital this morning after she stopped breathing during surgery on her vocal chords. According to TMZ, her heart also stopped beating with no word on…
  • Lara Bingle Is Topless

    28 August 2014, 11:23 am by: The Superficial

    Remember Sam Worthington? That guy who was in every single movie that came out between 2009 and 2010? It’s not important. Here’s his girlfriend Lara Bingle‘s giant naked breasts just like I promised you in the Jon Stewart post which makes me more…
  • Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Are Married

    28 August 2014, 10:36 am by: The Superficial

    Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been together for nine years, the bulk of which they’ve spent as parents to six children. But what they don’t have a is a legal document that makes it a gigantic pain in the ass to break up, so their love has basically…
  • Good Morning, Katy Perry, And Other News

    28 August 2014, 9:41 am by: The Superficial

    - Justin Theroux’s Penis: A discussion. - Jennifer Aniston doesn’t need kids to be valued as a woman. Which is true. It’s about breast size. - Redheads travel in packs? Perfect… - LeAnn Rimes is a rapist. Her words, not mine. - What the NRA was…
  • And Now Jon Stewart Going Off On Ferguson

    27 August 2014, 9:14 pm by: The Superficial

    The Daily Show has been on summer hiatus for the past few weeks, but it’s back and last night Jon Stewart got to work tearing apart the media coverage of Ferguson which I’m posting for three reasons: 1. It’s awesome. 2. Apparently the police in Ferguson…
  • The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.27.14

    27 August 2014, 4:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for all the hateful shit you’d totally say to these celebrities’ faces if given the chance. Something like “Hey Guy Fieri, sweet denim chef coat. I hope it somehow gives you AIDS,” or…
  • Kanye West: ‘My Dad Was A Paparazzo’

    27 August 2014, 2:58 pm by: The Superficial

    “Why does one of them keep yelling, ‘I just want to see my granddaughter!’ instead of taking pictures of my tits? Kanye? — Kanye? So remember in The Empire Strikes Back when everyone finds out Darth Vader is Luke’s father? This is sort of like that…
  • Nina Dobrev’s In A Bikini, Probably Banging Alexander Ludwig

    27 August 2014, 1:27 pm by: The Superficial

    My knowledge of Nina Dobrev pretty much starts and ends with she’s on not-True Blood, and I had to Google who the hell Alexander Ludwig even is. So here’s the two of them together because this site is a goddamn collision course of superstar fame provided…
  • No, Wait, Megan Fox, South Korea’s On Our Side!

    27 August 2014, 12:23 pm by: The Superficial

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is an epic shitbomb of pure fuck-dumb, so here’s Megan Fox dropping it on South Korea yesterday because who needs allies? Amirite? That whole North Korea thing will probably sort itself out. Plus we’re still holding all the…
  • Nick Cannon Left Mariah Carey Because She’s Crazy

    27 August 2014, 11:35 am by: The Superficial

    Here’s Nick Cannon after visiting his kids yesterday where he surprisingly didn’t leave the building with a trident sticking out of his chest considering he’s telling people he’s the one who left because Mariah Carey is goddamn crazy. TMZ reports: Nick…
  • Kim Kardashian Doesn’t Have Time For Beyonce

    27 August 2014, 10:43 am by: The Superficial

    We already know Kim Kardashian checked her phone during the Ferguson moment of silence at the VMAs and now comes word that she bailed before Beyonce‘s acceptance speech which, judging by the Internet’s reaction to Beyonce’s performance, practically makes…
  • Anais Zanotti & Ana Braga In Bikinis And Other News

    27 August 2014, 9:49 am by: The Superficial

    - Gwen Stefani was at the Emmy’s too. I had no idea. - Those are Paula Patton‘s nipples. - Downblouses: Somehow They Always Found Me - Courtney Love looking her best still frightens my penis. - Nick Cannon‘s dad might be talking shit about Mariah…
  • The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 8.26.14

    26 August 2014, 4:55 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring JLo doubling down on butt, because if you haven’t heard butts are the new tits. Except for Kim Kardashian. We still find her ass grotesque in every possible way and wish it would hurry up and eat her entire…
  • Rita Ora & Kristin Cavallari Deserved Better

    26 August 2014, 4:00 pm by: The Superficial

    Yesterday, our server basically burst into flames, fucking a giant hole in our day and causing us to scramble to post what we could, when we could. So lost in that mix were Rita Ora and Kristin Cavallari who both showed up in small doses, but really deserved…
  • Miley Cyrus’ Date To The VMAs Isn’t Exactly Homeless

    26 August 2014, 3:03 pm by: The Superficial

    Most people consider homeless to mean poor, destitute, no place to turn to. So when Miley Cyrus brought a “homeless” date to the VMAs, it was just assumed that she picked this poor guy up off the streets where poverty had left him. Turns out he’s a…
  • Shit, Y’All Know Dave & Buster’s Is #BBare’s House

    26 August 2014, 1:53 pm by: The Superficial

    YO! Getcha ass up off my boy’s skeeball. AND STAY OUT DA BALL PIT. Tap Maple Zizzurp: Justin and Selena Gomez were at Dave & Buster’s Monday night when a fan started taking cell phone pics and video of the two. Law enforcement sources say … Justin lunged…
  • Wait. Lindsay Lohan Is A Nanny?

    26 August 2014, 12:35 pm by: The Superficial

    “Call me Mrs. Crotchfire.” I would’ve posted this sooner, but a gaping vagina and 18 server crashes will fuck a man’s schedule up, so here’s In Touch Weekly reporting that not only is Lindsay Lohan “dating” an investment banker, she’s also…
  • The 66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards

    26 August 2014, 11:11 am by: The Superficial

    Here’s the rest of The 66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards where my comprehensive reporting will tell you Breaking Bad won fucking everything except for that one award for True Detective and Benedict Cumberbatch winning for Sherlock which slightly makes up for…
  • Christina Hendricks Brought Her Monster Breasts #Emmys

    26 August 2014, 10:17 am by: The Superficial

    As small children, most of us dreamed about Ronald McDonald having really huge tits. I’m talking so huge you don’t even know how he’s carrying them around, and maybe Grimace should talk to him about steroids. So now that I’ve explained how Christina…
  • Hayden Panettiere Brought Her Monster Fetus #Emmys

    26 August 2014, 9:46 am by: The Superficial

    Here’s a pregnant as fuck Hayden Panettiere at the Emmys last night where it was a goddamn miracle her unborn daughter didn’t burst out of her chest and terrorize Sigourney Weaver. Which isn’t so much a joke about the giant’s fetus inside of her (a…
  • Good Morning, Natalia Proza, And Other News

    26 August 2014, 9:00 am by: The Superficial

    - Chris Martin is allowed to hear the words Angelina Jolie? That can’t be right. - Religion is denying you Cersei‘s boobs. And maybe even mons pubis. This is HBO! - Wait. Are her breasts flying the plane? They can do that?! - John Stamos took a nude…
  • The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.25.14

    25 August 2014, 7:20 pm by: Photo Boy

    Read More ...
  • The Rest of The Goddamn #VMAs

    25 August 2014, 1:35 pm by: The Superficial

    Because our server is like the TARDIS if the TARDIS had Down syndrome, we’re falling apart at the seams over here, so here’s the rest of The 2014 VMAs before the whole thing explodes. And if you’re wondering why I’m not posting about Beyonce‘s…
  • The Kardashians Checked Their Phones During The Ferguson Moment of Silence #VMAs

    25 August 2014, 12:34 pm by: The Superficial

    During last night’s VMAs, Common held a moment of silence for Ferguson which the Kardashians felt was the appropriate time to check their phones (above) because someone might have tweeted about Kim‘s dress, you guys. Yes, they understand that black teens…
  • Child Hookers? Why Not? #VMAs

    25 August 2014, 11:13 am by: The Superficial

    The media would have you believe this is singer/actress Ariana Grande, but really it’s a sophisticated Pre-Crime tool used to weed out future pedophiles before they strike by prompting an easily collected database of Internet commenters who want to have sex…

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