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  • Good Morning, Cassie Cardelle, And Other News

    30 October 2014, 9:17 am by: The Superficial

    - How long was Katie Holmes in that reeducation trailer? It’s time to start asking. - Amanda Bynes parents got another conservatorship. Try not to fuck it up this time. - Redheads Are Really Bringing The Love This Week - Brandi Glanville bashes everyone…
  • The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 10.29.14

    29 October 2014, 4:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where I could only find this one pic of Emily Ratajkowski at whatever dumb event this is, so she got relegated to TCWM. It’s an indignity she doesn’t deserve, I know, to be lumped in with the likes of Floyd…
  • No Shit Gwyneth Paltrow Broke Up Chris Martin & Jennifer Lawrence

    29 October 2014, 2:43 pm by: The Superficial

    The very second Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin broke up, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out it probably had to do with the woman he’s technically still married to who also has a giant ego that’s about to get her face baked into a quiche.…
  • And Now Wacky Hijinks With The Avengers

    29 October 2014, 2:12 pm by: The Superficial

    For a change of scenery after two posts about how fucked we are as a society, here’s the extra footage from The Avengers: Age of Ultron that Marvel scrambled together for last night’s Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. after the full trailer leaked last week leaving…
  • Kim Kardashian Compared Herself To ‘I Love Lucy’

    29 October 2014, 1:19 pm by: The Superficial

    Once you’ve written about one reality show and the empty, mammoth husks of humanity that star in them, you kind of want to write about them all. So here’s Kim Kardashian literally comparing Keeping Up With The Kardashians to I Love Lucy with a straight…
  • Mama June’s Daughter Was Molested In Front Of Her Other Daughter

    29 October 2014, 12:20 pm by: The Superficial

    With each passing day, the Mama June dating a convicted child molester who raped her own daughter situation keeps getting soul-crushingly worse even with child protective services involved who probably can’t do shit. And now Radar has released the full…
  • Jose Canseco Shot His Finger Off

    29 October 2014, 11:01 am by: The Superficial

    “Come into my world, flower. If you can handle it.” There’s an even more sick and disturbing Honey Boo Boo update coming up, so before I darken everybody’s soul with that (The Superficial: I’mma Put My Pain In You), let’s laugh at an idiot shooting…
  • All You Need To Know About Jenny McCarthy’s Sirius Show In One Pic

    29 October 2014, 10:03 am by: Photo Boy

    Posted by Photo Boy If a picture is worth a thousand words, in this case they’re all “PPPRRRRRPPPFFFTHH,” then extended cackling followed by a suicidal producer shuffling into the booth with a can of Febreeze. Snooki appearing on any show called Dirty,…
  • Good Morning, Colleen Shannon, And Other News

    29 October 2014, 9:00 am by: The Superficial

    - Ben Affleck‘s making PSAs about saving the bats now. No, really. - Julia Roberts really wants you to know she’s never had plastic surgery. - Jon Voight wants Angelina Jolie to play Michelle Bachmann. Okay… - Meet the Chivettes of ChiveFest Dallas -…
  • The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.28.14

    28 October 2014, 4:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring all kinds of beautiful artwork, starting with Lindsay Lohan‘s nude portrait that she commissioned because cocaine money doesn’t launder itself. Then there’s another Chris Brown graffiti mural of what…
  • Chadwick Boseman Is Black Panther: The Day Marvel Pissed In DC’s Face

    28 October 2014, 3:36 pm by: The Superficial

    During a 30 minute event that practically broke Twitter and pissed directly in DC‘s face, Marvel laid out it’s Phase 3 movie plans which included the casting of Chadwick Boseman as Black Panther, and an upcoming Captain Marvel movie staring.. somebody as…
  • Mama June Under Investigation By Child Services

    28 October 2014, 2:12 pm by: The Superficial

    “Pah. Manga wonjee kohkpa, oong Jedi. Chool kanya wee shaja mee-choo.” After word, and undeniable photo evidence, got out that Mama June Shannon was letting convicted child molester Mark McDaniel near Honey Boo Boo even though he molested one daughter,…
  • Amy Poehler Bombed A Date With John Stamos

    28 October 2014, 12:54 pm by: The Superficial

    John Stamos is a beautiful, ageless possible-centaur who any man, woman, child, or beast would feel extremely self-concscious about dating. And Amy Poehler is no exception because here she is telling Howard Stern about the time she went out to dinner with…
  • Benedict Cumberbatch Is Doctor Strange: A Post About Kendall’s Butt

    28 October 2014, 11:51 am by: Photo Boy

    “I’ll tell you what’s strange. Giant penguins, amirite?!” (I have no fucking business writing these.) Posted by Photo Boy You guys know by now that Fish’s new favorite thing besides sending headless animal carcasses to Hilary Duff‘s house is to…
  • Kevin Smith Without A Beard Will Eat Your Soul

    28 October 2014, 11:32 am by: The Superficial

    Kevin Smith smoked a bunch of weed and came up with some movie called Yoga Hosers, and that’s already more than you could ever possibly need to know about that. However, in the process of preparing for his role that will presumably still involve jorts –…
  • Good Morning, Topless Caitlin O’Connor, and Other News

    28 October 2014, 10:25 am by: Photo Boy

    Posted by Photo Boy - George Clooney‘s wife is making him have the wedding over and over. His nightmare is real. - Apparently Mike is one of those guys who buys rubber Farrah Abraham pussies in Magic Mike XXL. - All Is Fair In Tug And War - If only Aaron…
  • The Crap We Missed – Monday 10.27.14

    27 October 2014, 3:45 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where Fish thinks he’s already revealed the ace up my sleeve but I didn’t tell him about Derek Jeter touching his own butt. I saved that one so you guys could pointedly reference how he gets beautiful women to make…
  • Jennifer Lawrence & Chris Martin Stopped F*cking

    27 October 2014, 3:40 pm by: The Superficial

    Presumably because Gwyneth Paltrow keeps Chris Martin‘s balls firmly ensconced in a hand-carved Sri Lankan testicle cuplet ($799.95, GOOP), his conscious coupling with Jennifer Lawrence‘s vagina has transcended this plane of reality, according to E! News.…
  • This Is Who Buys A Mold of Farrah Abraham’s Vagina (And Has It Signed)

    27 October 2014, 2:46 pm by: The Superficial

    Dammit, Chris Pratt… Here’s Farrah Abraham selling signed copies of her sex toys at a Hustler Store where she was also dressed as some sort of swan princess because her life is like a beautiful fairy tale, you guys. A beautiful fairy tale full of untold…
  • Lindsay Lohan Is Super Deep, You Guys

    27 October 2014, 1:58 pm by: The Superficial

    Over the weekend, Lindsay Lohan appeared on The Jonathan Ross Show with Russell Brand who she’s apparently trying to impress now by dropping deep quotes about capitalism on Instagram. In her bra: “We swim in the aquarium of capitalism.” As for where…
  • JLo & Iggy Azalea’s Butts Won’t Depress You

    27 October 2014, 1:08 pm by: The Superficial

    Thanks to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, we’ve stared deep into the abyss of human depravity and the blobs of codependency that willingly toss children into it. So for a change of scenery, let’s stare deep into Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea‘s buttholes which…
  • Mama June Let Her Pedophile Boyfriend Near Honey Boo Boo

    27 October 2014, 11:44 am by: The Superficial

    So here’s all the awfulness that’s spewed out of the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo pedophile shitfest over the weekend which unsurprisingly does get worse than finding out June Shannon‘s convicted child molester boyfriend Mark McDaniel forced her own daughter…
  • Rich People In Halloween Costumes: Starring Maria Menounos’ Butt

    27 October 2014, 10:03 am by: The Superficial

    And welcome back to the time of year when celebrities get trashed in Halloween costumes every single night for an entire week because they’re just like us minus the whole waking up in the morning to stave off poverty. So here’s the first batch featuring…
  • Matthew McConaughey’s Lincoln Ads Really Are Ridiculous And Other News

    27 October 2014, 9:00 am by: The Superficial

    - JK Rowling is publishing more Harry Potter shit on Halloween. - George Clooney‘s wedding is apparently still going on. - I Declare You, Queen of The Selfie - Monica Lewinsky is best friends with Alan Cumming. — Sure, why not? - Kate Hudson will…
  • The Most Important People on The Internet: Volume 4.28

    25 October 2014, 10:57 am by: The Superficial

    Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, and surprise, they’re all about Renee Zellweger‘s face. Okay, maybe not every single one is about her face, but they just as easily could’ve been, there were that many to…
  • Mama June’s Pedophile Boyfriend Molested Her Daughter Chickadee

    24 October 2014, 7:56 pm by: The Superficial

    And here comes the dark, disturbing ending everyone knew was coming. Mama June Shannon‘s daughter Anna Cardwell – Chickadee to fans of the show – has come forward and not only identified herself as the 8-year-old victim Mark McDaniel forced to perform…
  • The Crap We Missed – Friday 10.24.14

    24 October 2014, 3:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which has Scout, Tallulah, and Rumer, so it’s got more Willis than a Chinese phone book if I’m reading this 101 Catskills Jokes book correctly. Was that racist? If not, then the immediate thought of Captain Black…
  • Taylor Swift’s Camel Toe: Ain’t Nothing Controversial About That

    24 October 2014, 2:31 pm by: The Superficial

    It’s been a hell of a day full of child molesters, death treats over gun control, 12-year-olds getting implants, and more child molesters, so here’s Taylor Swift‘s camel toe which is about as plain, vanilla, and non-controversial as it gets. You could…
  • Stephen Collins To Faye Grant: ‘Now I Can’t Make Money Anymore. FACE.’

    24 October 2014, 1:36 pm by: The Superficial

    “Aw yeah, totally can’t make money anymore because people think I’m a child molester. SUCK IT!” Now that Stephen Collins is a complete Hollywood pariah after he allegedly confessed to molesting children during a therapy session secretly recorded by his…
  • Ariana Grande Isn’t Getting Implants. I’m Sorry?

    24 October 2014, 12:37 pm by: The Superficial

    Apparently there’s a rumor going around that Ariana Grande was getting a boob job to make her boyfriend Big Sean happy despite the fact he dumped his girlfriend Naya Rivera right after she got hers. But Ariana’s reps are denying those reports which seems…

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