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  • The Most Important People on The Internet: Zombie Jesus Edition

    18 April 2014, 9:00 am by: The Superficial

    Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you a day early thanks to America’s magic mascot rising from the dead two thousand years ago because that’s literally how long we’ve been beating the zombie genre…
  • The Crap We Missed – Thursday 4.17.14

    17 April 2014, 3:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, your final installment for the week as Fish and I take pause tomorrow to call our dads and thank them for not making us die an excruciating death so that you all can live your lives like giant assholes, ignore…
  • Just Kidding! Kate Upton Loves Her Boobs

    17 April 2014, 2:00 pm by: The Superficial

    Earlier in the week, the Internet lost its shit after becoming deeply concerned that Kate Upton might get a breast reduction because she hates her giant boobs. Except now she’s backtracking those remarks which she claims she never said probably because…
  • Maitland Ward Got Her Own Post

    17 April 2014, 1:19 pm by: The Superficial

    If you’re avid clicker of The Crap We Missed, you’ve probably seen Maitland Ward at some red carpet event thanks to Photo Boy’s uncanny ability to somehow not make every pic Prince Charles. So for reasons that can be described as, “How am I not seeing…
  • Holy Shit, Tom Cruise Really Did Buy Hot Donna With His Space Money

    17 April 2014, 12:25 pm by: The Superficial

    When you’re the Planetary Prince-Regent of Adamanthium 7, you get only the finest quimmelwidgets to galactic shazzlebang your norfbong. It’s practically your birthright. Which is why the rumors are true that Tom Cruise has chosen fellow Scientologist Laura…
  • Heidi Klum’s Still Topless

    17 April 2014, 11:13 am by: The Superficial

    Here’s Day 2 of Heidi Klum‘s topless vacation with 27-year-old Vito Schnabel who at one point was banging Demi Moore, but presumably saw Boba Fett crawl out of her stomach and called it a day. As for what that has to do with the price of flapjacks in…
  • Good Morning, Lexie Marlow, And Other News

    17 April 2014, 9:00 am by: The Superficial

    - Katy Perry is banging some dude named Duplo? Diplo? - Lindsay Lohan‘s reality show won’t get a second season because it stars Lindsay Lohan. - The Newly Single Chivettes Have Come Out To Play - Olivia Wilde is nude and all is right with the world. -…
  • Bryan Singer Accused of Raping, Drugging Teen Boy

    17 April 2014, 8:55 am by: The Superficial

    Poor little lad in his velvet coat. So innocent, so naive. Just some background, in 1997, director Bryan Singer was accused, but unsuccessfully sued, by two 14-year-old extras of being filmed naked during a shower scene in Apt Pupil that was more for Bryan…
  • The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.16.14

    16 April 2014, 2:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Yep, that’s a Real Housewife as a lead pic. Welcome to the sharp decline of a holiday week. It’s Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed and you’re going to notice a general desperation in my selection of photos for this gallery as a result of the dried up…
  • BREAKING: Hilary Duff Looks Hot In Overalls

    16 April 2014, 1:45 pm by: The Superficial

    Here’s Hilary Duff continuing her trend of looking hot as shit which was all just a ploy to get back together with the boring husband she left instead of finding a new, way less rich one who blogs about naked boobs all day. You’ll barely even know I’m…
  • Tracy Morgan Is Worried About Alec Baldwin

    16 April 2014, 12:53 pm by: The Superficial

    Alec Baldwin is mostly known for his one-man war against the cocksucking Illuminati more than anything else these days which has his 30 Rock co-star Tracy Morgan concerned and/or mainly enjoying the chance to go, “Oh, shit, and you were telling me how to…
  • Jenny McCarthy & Donnie Wahlberg Got Engaged

    16 April 2014, 11:56 am by: The Superficial

    Jenny McCarthy is a reckless fartbag of dumb who’s at least partially responsible for the death of thousands of children, but she has big tits and a working vagina, so that’s good enough for me, says four out of five penises including Donnie Wahlberg‘s…
  • Miley Cyrus Is In The Hospital

    16 April 2014, 11:03 am by: The Superficial

    Yup, that’s her. Miley Cyrus was reportedly hospitalized last night and forced to cancel her Kansas City concert after suffering an allergic reaction to antibiotics, according to TMZ, or a case of the sads because her dog died, according to Hollywood Life.…
  • That’s Heidi Klum Completely Topless

    16 April 2014, 10:21 am by: The Superficial

    So remember yesterday when I helped promote an inspirational site then people got butthurt about Creationist Cosmos? Well, now back to NAKED TITTIES. Whoo! Aw yeah! No thinking here! SCORE. *drinks alone in the bathroom* Photos: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast NewsRead…
  • Holy Shit, The ‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’ Final Trailer And Other News

    16 April 2014, 9:20 am by: The Superficial

    - Sean Penn is going to try and tie down Charlize Theron. - The Human Ken Doll has a human penis. You can sleep at night now. - Keep Very Quiet, We Don’t Wanna Scare Off The Downblouse - Kylie Jenner is doomed. - An Open Letter To Cunnilingus Read More…
  • The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 4.15.14

    15 April 2014, 3:30 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that exists in a world of skinny Jessica Simpon, so nothing makes sense to me now. For example, why is Irina Shayk on vacation with the Kardashians? And does Scientology really enable Tom Cruise to turn himself into a…
  • Here’s Your ‘Creationist Cosmos’

    15 April 2014, 2:00 pm by: The Superficial

    If you’re like me, you’ve been enjoying the shit out of Cosmos and finding yourself masturbating more frequently on account of the spring air. We’re practically twins! So here’s Creationist Cosmos, a Funny or Die response to Christians who got their…
  • Lindsay Lohan Drunk At Coachella? Impossible

    15 April 2014, 1:55 pm by: The Superficial

    There’s been a depressing amount of headlines about Lindsay Lohan getting drunk at Coachella even though this should surprise absolutely no one for three very simple reasons: 1. It’s Lindsay Lohan. 2. She said she wasn’t going to drink. And 3. The first…
  • Jessica Simpson Looks F*cking Fantastic

    15 April 2014, 1:14 pm by: The Superficial

    So remember the other day when I geeked out over Jessica Simpson‘s legs? That wasn’t me. That was somebody else. I don’t even know what a blog is. What I do know is how to order Chili’s take-out and might even have some right here. Just right here…
  • Lady Gaga’s ‘G.U.Y.’ Video Wasted 365,000 Gallons of Water In The Middle Of A Drought

    15 April 2014, 11:50 am by: The Superficial

    California is in the middle of an historic drought, so it only makes sense that Lady Gaga blew through 365,000 gallons of water so there wouldn’t be an empty pool in the background while shooting her “G.U.Y.” video at the Hearst Castle. Did the water…
  • Kate Upton Hates Everything That Is Awesome And Good About Her

    15 April 2014, 10:09 am by: The Superficial

    This news was too important to get lost in the onslaught of Coachella and MTV Movie Awards pics, so here’s Kate Upton saying she wishes she had smaller breasts while recognizing she’d be goddamn nobody without them. NOBODY. Via HuffPost: That’s right,…
  • And Now For Something Completely Different

    15 April 2014, 9:00 am by: The Superficial

    Before I get back to the business of celebrity boobs and the idiots who wish they didn’t have them, I want to draw your attention to something that’s actually important, and run by a colleague who’s been a mentor and a trusted friend that helped me…
  • Good Morning, Emily DiDonato, And Other News

    15 April 2014, 8:55 am by: The Superficial

    - If Mark Wahlberg didn’t win the Generation Award, 9/11 would’ve never happened. - This should’ve been the ending to Lost. - A Tug A Day Will Keep The Doctor Away - Cameron Diaz is starting to grow on me. - Conservatives are trying to make it harder…
  • The Crap We Missed – Monday 4.14.14

    14 April 2014, 4:00 pm by: Photo Boy

    Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which you’ll find is free of anything Coachella-related, because if I have to look at one more picture of a rich asshole wearing a bowler hat and glow jewelry, I might actually kill myself. Instead I focused this…
  • Rich People Pretending To Be Groovy Hippies, Man

    14 April 2014, 3:00 pm by: The Superficial

    Now that we’ve seen Leonardo DiCaprio dancing, the continued effects of lupus on the mind, and British on Dutch foreplay, here’s the rest of the rich people pretending to be earth spirits or some stupid shit they told themselves on the jet ride over. In…
  • By All Means, Alex Pettyfer, Fingerbang Marloes Horst Right In The Middle of Coachella

    14 April 2014, 2:12 pm by: The Superficial

    “Holy shit, is that Leonardo DiCaprio dancing over there? Wait, where you going? Babe. Babe, come back! Babe! I wasn’t done finger- goddammit.” – How this story ended Photos: Pacific Coast NewsRead More ...
  • Selena Gomez Went To Coachella With Kendall & Kylie Jenner

    14 April 2014, 1:07 pm by: The Superficial

    Now that her parents are out of the picture – Which they found out from TMZ by the way. – Selena Gomez can finally make the mature business decisions she’s always wanted to make like hanging out with Kendall and Kylie Jenner at bullshit music festivals.…
  • Hilary Duff & Mike Comrie Went To Coachella Together

    14 April 2014, 12:21 pm by: The Superficial

    On Friday, word got out that Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie were calling off the divorce, and now here’s the two of them at Coachella over the weekend looking absolutely shocked to see the paparazzi despite hundreds of them being there every single year since…
  • Leonardo DiCaprio Is One Helluva Dancer

    14 April 2014, 11:22 am by: The Superficial

    Apparently when Leonardo DiCaprio goes to Coachella he wants to fucking dance, so here he is doing something close to that. And if you think it’s shitty that a rich, Hollywood actor can’t cut loose and have a good time without someone filming him, he has…
  • Jenny McCarthy Is Literally Trying To Say She’s Never Been Anti-Vaccines Now

    14 April 2014, 7:56 am by: The Superficial

    Before this day gets consumed by Coachella and The MTV Movie Awards, I just want to make everyone aware that in a new op-ed for the Chicago Sun-Times, Jenny McCarthy tries to say she’s never been anti-vaccines. The Jenny McCarthy. What she does try to say is…

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