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  • The U.S. Freed a Cuban Spy's Sperm Months Before the Prisoner Exchange

    22 December 2014, 8:50 pm by: Gabrielle Bluestone

    One of the Cuban spies released in a prisoner exchange this month may have been imprisoned, but his sperm sure wasn't.Read more...
  • Being Married to Brad Pitt Is "Hard Work"

    22 December 2014, 7:35 pm by: Gabrielle Bluestone

    This Christmas, let's all say a prayer for Angelina Jolie and the adversity she faces in her blessed marriage to human golden retriever Brad Pitt.Read more...
  • Eric Garner's Daughter Visited the Slain NYPD Officers' Memorial Today

    22 December 2014, 5:55 pm by: Taylor Berman

    Earlier today, Eric Garner's daughter visited the memorial for Wenjian Liu and Rafael Ramos, the two NYPD officers killed on Saturday. "I just had to come out and let their family know that we stand with them, and I'm going to send my prayers and condolences…
  • If You Don't Want To Watch A Fish Suck a Dick, Here's a Description

    22 December 2014, 5:35 pm by: Sam Biddle

    A video file by the name of "2 guys 1 fish" is making its way around Twitter today. The video depicts a man receiving oral sex from a large fish. If you want to watch the video—which, let's be clear, depicts what is almost certainly an illegal act of animal…
  • Madonna's Only Christmas Decoration is a Wreath That Says "DAT ASS"

    22 December 2014, 5:25 pm by: Jordan Sargent

    It has not been the most splendid holiday season for Madonna, who had an entire album's worth of new songs leak last week. Nonetheless, she appears to still be in the Christmas spirit. Above you see the lone Christmas decoration outside her mansion on 81st…
  • De Blasio: Protestors Should "Step Back" Until NYPD Officers Are Buried

    22 December 2014, 5:15 pm by: Taylor Berman

    At a press conference this afternoon, Mayor de Blasio asked activists protesting the deaths of Eric Garner and Michael Brown to put their demonstrations on hold until after this weekend, when Rafael Ramos and Wenjian Liu—the two NYPD officers shot to death…
  • North Korea's Internet Completely Blacked Out After Alleged Cyberattack

    22 December 2014, 5:05 pm by: Jay Hathaway

    Just days after Barack Obama vowed to hit North Korea with a "proportional response" to their (alleged ) involvement in hacking Sony Pictures Entertainment, the DPRK's fragile connection to the internet has "collapsed" and gone "completely dark," the New York…
  • Deadspin The Scientology Christmas Catalog Is Totally Insane | Gizmodo North Korea's Internet Is Tot

    22 December 2014, 4:54 pm by: Jane-Claire Quigley

    Deadspin The Scientology Christmas Catalog Is Totally Insane | Gizmodo North Korea's Internet Is Totally Screwed Right Now | Jalopnik Red Light Cameras Are A Dangerous, Money-Grubbing Scheme, Study Says | Jezebel Iggy Azalea: Dumb or Evil? A Brief…
  • All Real Estate Inside, Outside of NYC Now Too Expensive 

    22 December 2014, 4:30 pm by: Hamilton Nolan

    On the real estate front, there's good news, and bad news. The bad news is you can't afford Manhattan . The good news is that Brooklyn is—oh. Hm . Well, the good news is that Queens is—oh. Shit. Uhhh.... Read more...
  • Monday Night TV Has Some Opinions About Airport Security These Days

    22 December 2014, 4:17 pm by: Jacob Clifton

    Tonight we've got more tiny homes than you can shake a regular-sized stick at, Christmas wars, the ageless beauty of the Beaten Generation and some randos named Kennedy. Do not be alarmed.Read more...
  • Let’s Talk About That Homeland Finale

    22 December 2014, 4:10 pm by: J.K. Trotter

    Warning: Spoilers ahead.Read more...
  • Why I'm Kind Of Tired Of The "Smartest Man In The Room"

    22 December 2014, 4:09 pm by: Charlie Jane Anders

    He used to be so cool and unpredictable. He would breeze into a complicated situation and make it simple through the razor-sharp power of his intellect. But lately, he's gotten dull and predictable, performing the same party trick over and over. The "smartest…
  • Teacher Fired For Stuffing Eleven Kids in Car On Search for Snacks

    22 December 2014, 3:53 pm by: Dayna Evans

    An Oklahoma middle school teacher was fired last week for doing something you might do with your punkass cousins but probably shouldn't do if you're certified to teach minors: she put eleven kids in her Honda Accord and locked two of them in the trunk on a…
  • NYPD Union President Patrick Lynch Is Completely Nuts: A History

    22 December 2014, 3:39 pm by: J.K. Trotter

    Patrick Lynch is the 51-year-old president of the Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association, the largest and most influential union of the New York City Police Department. You might recognize his name: Over the weekend, Lynch blamed Bill de Blasio for the Saturday…
  • American Apparel Founder Dov Charney Is Nearly Broke and Homeless

    22 December 2014, 3:32 pm by: Jordan Sargent

    Dov Charney, creepy and gross founder of American Apparel, was ousted from the company (again) last week and, well, things aren't going to great for him. Today he revealed to Bloomberg that he only has $100,000 left in the bank and is crashing on a friend's…
  • A Major Storm on Christmas Eve Will Probably Screw Up Your Travel Plans

    22 December 2014, 3:25 pm by: Dennis Mersereau

    Just in time for Christmas, a developing storm will create headaches for anyone planning to travel east of the Mississippi River later this week. The storm will drop heavy snow on the Great Lakes and bring thunderstorms, heavy rain, and gusty winds to almost…
  • Drone Pilot Fucks With the Wrong Kangaroo

    22 December 2014, 3:24 pm by: Jay Hathaway

    A pilot tracking an Eastern grey kangaroo and her joey through Hunter Valley, Australia got a little too close, and perhaps underestimated the roo's speed and vertical leap. Although the pilot tried to back the drone up, it was too late: His shit got…
  • At the End of the Day, 2014 Is Over: The Year In Television

    22 December 2014, 3:22 pm by: Rich Juzwiak

    Like we always do at this time , I've put together a montage of outlandish moments from garbagey TV this year. Read more...
  • "Lawlessness will rule," warns former New York police commissioner and convicted felon Bernard Kerik

    22 December 2014, 3:15 pm by: Tom Scocca

    "Lawlessness will rule," warns former New York police commissioner and convicted felon Bernard Kerik in an essay on Time magazine's website. Read more...
  • Ex-Milwaukee Cop Who Shot Unarmed Man 14 Times Will Not Be Charged 

    22 December 2014, 2:53 pm by: Jason Parham

    Today, District Attorney John Chisholm said former Milwaukee police officer Christopher Manney would not be charged in the shooting of Dontre Hamilton. On April 30, Manney shot Hamilton, who was unarmed, 14 times during an incident at Red Arrow Park in…

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