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  • Open Post: Hosted By Dame St. Angie Jolie Signing Autographs For The Plebs

    25 January 2015, 10:00 am by: Michael K

    Yes, that pen has already been preserved in bronze and mounted at the altar in St. Peter’s Basilica. And yes, that burgundy leather book thing is the Angelina Jolie version of The Bible (aka the only version that matters). While Brad Pitt inhaled Utah’s…
  • Kim Kardashian Puts It Away For Once

    25 January 2015, 9:50 am by: J Harvey

    A serene-looking Kim Kardashian kept her kulo klassy at the BET Honors last night. By “klassy,” I mean her husband didn’t have her serve that ass up like two greased n’ shiny hogs gone fetal per usual. Instead, Yeezus stuffed her into a dark-sided…
  • Julia Roberts Is Making A Batkid Movie

    25 January 2015, 8:00 am by: J Harvey

    Julia “Eat your fucking fish, bitch!” Roberts will produce and star in a cinematic adaption of the “Batkid” story. To recap, Miles Scott was that little tyke with leukemia who wanted to be Batman’s sidekick as his Make-A-Wish gift. Humanity (well,…
  • JWoww’s Baby Didn’t Do That To Herself

    25 January 2015, 7:00 am by: J Harvey

    Her mother did. Jersey Shore refuse JWoww and her husband Roger Mathews must have already watched everything on their DVR.  The hours can feel like centuries sometimes, can’t they? So they decided to torment the future version of their daughter Meilani by…
  • Lindsay Lohan’s Symptoms May Include Snatched Torso, Jagged Ass

    25 January 2015, 6:03 am by: J Harvey

    Well, hello! MK asked me to write some posts! The word is that his celebrating of DListed’s 10th anniversary went next level and he’s feeling it today. And by “next level,” I mean he upgraded from his usual celebratory Andre to Verdi Sparkletini (the…
  • Quick Programming Note Brought To You By RiRi’s New Song With Paul McCartney And Kanye

    25 January 2015, 5:06 am by: Michael K

    I have a family thing I need to do today – No, my “family thing” isn’t go to Sunday mass at a Catholic church and then feed the homeless a lentil casserole I made myself and sing religious hymns to orphans while my relatives do an interpretive dance. I…
  • Hot Slut Of The Day!

    25 January 2015, 3:59 am by: Michael K

    The Silver Man with hot, sweet moves from the video for Da Dip by Freak Nasty! Yesterday, I went into a store to get water and Ding Dongs (you know, the usual) and I was taken back in time to 1997 when the song Da Dip by Freak Nasty played. I almost dropped my…
  • Birthday Sluts

    25 January 2015, 2:00 am by: Michael K

    Princess Charlene of Monaco (37) Michael Trevino (30) Alicia Keys (34) Christine Lakin (36) Mia Kirshner (40) China Kantner (44) Ana Ortiz (44) Jenifer Lewis (58) Dinah Manoff (59) The Honky Tonk Man (62) Anita Pallenberg (71) Leiji Matsumoto (77) Dean Jones…
  • Open Post: Hosted By Evidence Of Taylor Swift’s Belly Button

    24 January 2015, 11:14 am by: Allison

    You’re probably like “I should care about this trick’s belly button why?“, but this is very important and you should drop whatever it is you’re doing and pay attention for this BREAKING NEWS. Living paper doll Taylor Swift once said that your eyes…
  • And Now For The Time Gwyneth Paltrow Made Dinner And Everybody Threw Up

    24 January 2015, 9:58 am by: Allison

    And shockingly, it wasn’t from the overwhelming nauseous feeling they got from hearing Gwyneth Paltrow talk about how perfect Gwyneth Paltrow is all evening. It was from food! That’s right, famous cookbook author Gwyneth Paltrow admitted on The Rachael Ray…

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