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  • Olivia Wilde And Jason Sudeikis Are Somebody’s Parents

    24 April 2014, 3:52 am by: Allison

    I can hear the Xander Jones truthers now: “YOU MEAN ”A PARENT FOR THE SECOND TIME’, RIGHT? HE’S ALREADY SOMEBODY’S PARENT! YOU CAN’T DENY THE EVIDENCE!” The Year of the Diaper Genie has once again bestowed upon us another poopy blessing, this…
  • The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For April 23rd!

    24 April 2014, 3:45 am by: Michael K

    “The best shave a she-man Wookie can get, Gillette.”-Khloe Kardashian as new spokesperson for Gillette. – sarcasticlawyer Upvote winner: Katie misunderstood when they said she didn’t need to be a beard anymore. – Daisy100 via Break
  • Hot Slut Of The Day!

    24 April 2014, 3:42 am by: Michael K

    PANCAKE JESUS! Jesus shows himself all sorts of ways. Sometimes he shows himself on a non-organic banana bought at Stater Bros. and sometimes he shows himself through Brit Brit’s personal food of ye gods. Sometimes he shows himself when I’m skimming…
  • Birthday Sluts

    24 April 2014, 1:00 am by: Michael K

    Shirley MacLaine (80) Katherine Webb (25) Tyson Ritter (30) Kelly Clarkson (32) Austin Nichols (34) Danny Gokey (34) Eric Balfour (37) Derek Luke (40) Damon Lindelof (41) Melinda Clarke (45) Aidan Gillen (46) Mark Vanderloo (46) Patty Schemel (47) Djimon…
  • Night Crumbs

    23 April 2014, 12:04 pm by: Michael K

    Prepare to throw a RIP at the wig industry, because Nicki Minaj is done with wigs for now. Well, at least the wig industry still has RuPaul, Beyonce and John Travolta – Celebitchy As Stacy Keibler sticks out her barely-there “Take that, Clooney” bump,…
  • Iggy Azalea Stopped Crowdsurfing Because Creepers Kept Trying To Finger Her

    23 April 2014, 11:06 am by: Michael K

    Australian rapper Iggy Azalea’s (born name: Amethyst Amelia Kelly) crowdsurfing days are pretty much over, because almost every time she throwns herself into the audience, some gross motherfucker has to finger rape her. While talking to NYC’s Hot 97 about…
  • Open Post: Hosted By Rumer Willis Keeping It Demure And Elegant

    23 April 2014, 9:53 am by: Michael K

    When you’re only famous for ripping your famous mom’s body in two when the doctor pulled your Easter Island Statue head out of her and you’re about as talented as a pile of instant potato flakes, you have to do what you can to get attention and that…
  • Jodie Foster Got Married

    23 April 2014, 9:00 am by: Michael K

    Raise a glass of whatever power lesbians are drinking noadways (Clamato and vodka?) to Jodie Foster who got married to her girlfriend of almost a year, photographer and actress Alexandra Hedison, over the weekend. I know I should keep up with the goings on of…
  • My Nightmares Thank You, Julia Louis-Dreyfus

    23 April 2014, 8:21 am by: Allison

    Between Katy Perry dressing up as a clown and Julia Louis-Dreyfus getting fucked by a clown in GQ, I’m going to need to schedule an appointment with my therapist ASAP, because I am all kinds of traumatized right now. Clowns are absolutely terrifying.…
  • Katy Perry Makes Children Cry

    23 April 2014, 7:27 am by: Michael K

    Last night, executives at Katy Perry’s label tore up her contract while screaming, “Well, what do we have then?!”, after she told Jimmy Kimmel that she’s sick of doing sexy videos where her tits are hanging out. Katy told late-night STUNT QUEEN Jimmy…

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