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  • Happy Turkey Day From A Giant Serving Of Demure-Encrusted Chicken Cutlets

    2:32pm By Michael K
    Don’t worry, I heard all of you (read: none of you) scream that you can’t possibly slurp down a fat slice of canned cranberry loaf and a spoonful of roasted marshmallows (bottomed with a touch of gross ass yams) until you’ve seen a ridiculous HOliday…
  • Hot Slut Of The Day!

    12:27pm By Michael K
    The Car Rental Agent (as played to chirpy Not The One perfection by the one and only Edie McClurg) from Planes, Trains & Automobiles! To celebrate the day that I spread my eatin’ hole open by attaching my lips to my earlobes with a clamp before shoving…
  • Birthday Sluts

    8:00am By Michael K
    Snooki (30) Miley Cyrus (25) Lucas Grabeel (33) Kelly Brook (38) Jonathan Sadowski (38) Allison Mosshart (39) Page Kennedy (41) Chris Adler (45) Chris Hardwick (46) Zoë Ball (47) Oded Fehr (47) Salli Richardson-Whitfield (50) Vincent Cassel (51) John…
  • Afternoon Crumbs

    Wed 5:53pm By Allison
    Reese Witherspoon is currently in Paris with her family for her daughter Ava’s debut at Le Bal des Débutantes. I can’t believe they walked through the airport upon arrival. I don’t know much about fancy balls, but it’s my understanding those attending…
  • Scarlett Johansson And Colin Jost Took It Up A Level

    Wed 5:15pm By Allison
    As the relationship of one blonde A-list Hollywood actress and her brown-haired boyfriend bites the dust, another continues to thrive. Is this the circle of life they were talking about in The Lion King? I think it might be. The last time we checked in on the…
  • Kendall Jenner Just Snatched Gisele’s Money-Making Crown

    Wed 4:45pm By C.J.
    Forbes reports that leggy, pouty thing Kendall Jenner is 2017’s highest-paid model. And in juuuuuuust the right level of knife twist, they add that it’s the first time since 2002 that the crown has not been worn by Gisele Bundchen. Meow! Kendall hauled in…
  • Open Post: Hosted By The Tambourine-Shaking Grandma

    Wed 4:00pm By Mieka
    I grew up in Berkeley, California and because of that I am easily triggered by certain hippie-tainted things. That means you can miss me with, among other things, carob chips, nutritional yeast, requests for “gas, grass or ass”, and tambourines. That last…
  • Chrissy Teigen And John Legend Are Having Another Baby

    Wed 3:30pm By Allison
    Ah, babies. The perfect talking point. There will be no awkward or uncomfortable silences at Chrissy Teigen and John Legend’s holiday dinner tomorrow. The second someone begins a potentially bad conversation (“Here’s what the government doesn’t want…
  • Meghan Markle’s Holidays Are About To Get A Lot More Corgi-Filled

    Wed 2:45pm By C.J.
    THE QUEEN better have the corgis on their best behavior this week, because an American is apparently skipping Turkey Day to slum it in the mother country with Prince Hot Ginge. It was reported yesterday that Meghan Markle had left Toronto for London after…
  • Lady Gaga’s Fiancé Got A Tattoo Of Her Face

    Wed 2:05pm By J Harvey
    Now that’s love. UsWeekly says that Lady Gaga’s fiancé Christian Carino got his bride-to-be’s mug tattooed on his arm just under his shoulder. It’s either big love, or he got it because she changes her look up so often that he wanted to be able to…