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  • The CAPTION THIS Contest For October 31st!

    31 October 2014, 12:24 pm by: Michael K

    Pic: VT
  • Open Post: Hosted By The German Queen Of Slutoween

    31 October 2014, 10:35 am by: Michael K

    These inspirational pictures of Germany’s official country flower and my idol Micaela Schaefer are a week old, but I’ve been saving them for this special day. It’s only right to worship the Queen of Slutoween on the actual day. Not a day goes by when…
  • Lindsay Lohan And Her Brother Are Being Sued By A Former Business Partner For $60 Million

    31 October 2014, 9:32 am by: Allison

    “LOL! $60 million? I barely have $60! Speaking of which, can I borrow $60? I need it for…a thing.” Nearly two months ago, Lindsay Lohan and her younger brother Michael Jr. were slapped with a cease-and-desist letter by their former business partner Fima…
  • Not A Dry Cumberbitch In The House: Benedict Cumberbatch Thinks Sherlock Would Be A Sex King In Bed

    31 October 2014, 9:05 am by: Michael K

    If the whole being “the alien lizard sex god of Tumblr and beyond” doesn’t work out for Bentducttape Cummyrash he can always get a full-time job as a Sherlock Holmes soft-core fanfiction writer, because he’s got it down. I don’t watch the BBC’s…
  • The Editor-In-Chief Of InStyle Might Have Let It Slip That Jessica Biel Is Knocked Up With A…

    31 October 2014, 7:52 am by: Allison

    After appearing in public looking like she might have a timberbun in the oven and sources “claiming” that she’s currently renting her womb to a high-energy ramen-haired fetus, it seems like there’s a good chance Justin Timberlake might actually have…
  • And Three Seconds Later, Brit Brit Spears Devoured Her Whole

    31 October 2014, 7:22 am by: Michael K

    As soon as the International Cheetos Leagues comes out with a petition urging Katy Perry to apologize for appropriating their culture, I will co-sign that shit with all my emails. Because celeb whores have enough cash to spend on several costumes, they started…
  • Kelly Ripa And Michael Strahan Dressed Up As A Couple Of Brainless Zombies For Halloween

    31 October 2014, 6:18 am by: Allison

    I love that Live! with Kelly & Michael always takes Halloween so seriously, like they’re competing in the Halloween Hunger Games or something. And they should! Halloween is the most important holiday of the year (a close second being National Shrimp Scampi…
  • Amanda Bynes Is Out Of The Hospital After She Was Released From Psychiatric Hold

    31 October 2014, 5:06 am by: Michael K

    It was reported a few days ago that Amanda Bynes’ doctors were able to get a judge to approve an extra 30-day psychiatric hold, which meant that she’d stay in the hospital until next month. Well, some hearing officer took that 5150 hold and shat all over…
  • Chelsea Handler Is Pissed At Instagram After They Yanked Down A Picture Of Her Bare Titties

    31 October 2014, 4:34 am by: Allison

    On Thursday night, everyone’s favorite drunk aunt Chelsea Handler decided to celebrate Halloween a day early by posting this terrifying picture of her recreating Vladimir Putin’s topless horsie ride by mounting a stallion with her vodka-filled titty bags…
  • The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For October 30th!

    31 October 2014, 3:47 am by: Michael K

    Give a man a fish and you’ll feed him for one day… Give him a stash of sex sleeves and …you’ll never see or hear from him again…EVER – Aerialgreen Upvote winner: I haven’t seen this many phony cunts in one place since the last Real Housewives…

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