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  • Open Post: Hosted By A Cat Fishing For A Cat

    20 April 2014, 12:42 pm by: Michael K

    This video of a pussy fishing for a pussy (or as Queen Latifah calls it, “a regular Friday night”) is 31 seconds long. I watched all 31 seconds of it and even laughed. It really is 420. via Gawker
  • Terry Richardson’s Up To His Usual Tricks

    20 April 2014, 12:33 pm by: Michael K

    Because Terry Richardson wasn’t going to let Bryan Singer get all the attention for being a creepy pervert ho who promises young things work in exchange for a coagulated cum load to the face, he supposedly Facebook message’d a model and promised her a…
  • Denise Richards Celebrates Easter By Doing Herself Up Like A Carrot

    20 April 2014, 11:11 am by: Michael K

    While looking like a malnourished and derpy bumblebee that flew into a cup of Tang, Denise Richards left a Rite Aid in Calabasas, CA yesterday with Easter shit and a whole lot of bags of circus peanuts which she’s going to melt down and slather onto her skin…
  • When Baby Prince George Met George The Bilby

    20 April 2014, 9:18 am by: Michael K

    As Prince William examined that bilby’s fur to see if it will make a suitable hairpiece, Baby Prince George held a thumb to his mouth as he thought to himself, “Hmm, canz I eat that?” The hardest working baby in the entire world (I mean, he IS working on…
  • Hot Slut Of The Day!

    20 April 2014, 7:48 am by: Michael K

    Hershey’s extremely tasteful and holy gourmet delicacy: The Chocolate Crucifix!  Thousands of years ago, Jesus died on the cross for our sins and according to Hershey, those sins taste like milk chocolate. Works for me! The fully stocked bong next to me and…
  • Birthday Sluts

    20 April 2014, 2:00 am by: Michael K

    Jessica Lange (65) Michelle Ryan (30) Miranda Kerr (31) Ben Platt (34) Joey Lawrence (38) Tina Cousins (40) Carmen Electra (42) Shemar Moore (44) J. D. Roth (46) Crispin Glover (50) Andy Serkis (50) Veronica Cartwright (65) Ryan O’Neal (73) George Takei (77)
  • Open Post: Hosted By The Pizza Cake

    19 April 2014, 12:43 pm by: Allison

    I know that last week I was instructing you to pack up your things and move to Colorado in order to be closer to that dreamy vending machine that sells weed, but there’s been a change of plans. We’re moving to Canada now. Yes, it’s cold as fuck. Yes,…
  • Behold, The Basic Bitch Version Of The Seven Dwarfs

    19 April 2014, 11:00 am by: Allison

    Well look who we have here, it’s the seven basic bitches: Skinny, Boozy, Aussie, Goopy, Cougary, Bleachy, and McCartney (you know you’re the definition of basic when your nickname is just your last name). On Friday night, struggling single mother Gwyneth…
  • Miley Cyrus Has Postponed The Remainder Of Her US Tour Until August

    19 April 2014, 8:49 am by: Allison

    After coming down with a case of the sicks and spending most of the week humping on bowls of jello and IV poles, Miley Cyrus was forced to temporarily hang up her bedazzled crotch-suffocating thongs and cancel several of her shows. And now the Associated…
  • Tila Tequila Is Going To Be Somebody’s Mother

    19 April 2014, 6:19 am by: Allison

    The last time we checked in with the former harmless booze-chugging trash rat turned insane anti-Semitic conspiracy theorist known as Tila Tequila, she had sort of disappeared before the release of there second sex tape. Naturally, I just assumed she’d…

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