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  • Night Crumbs

    17 April 2015, 2:14 pm by: Michael K

    Matthew McConaughey’s beard has taken a life of its own and it looks like it’s eating his face. The Texas T-Rex (who kind of looks like this wooden Jesus statue my abuelita kept on top of her TV) needs to quickly shave it off before it eats his eyes! He…
  • The CAPTION THIS Contest For April 17th!

    17 April 2015, 12:35 pm by: Michael K

    Pic: Poorly Dressed
  • Things That Exist: A Japanese Game Show That Mixes Handjobs And Karaoke

    17 April 2015, 11:18 am by: Michael K

    You know how sometimes you’d go on a first date and you and the dude couldn’t find anywhere to bone, so you’d rent a private room at a karaoke place and give him a sloppy hand job while he sang out “Blister In The Sun”? Well, Japan has made a game…
  • Open Post: Hosted By Zayn Malik’s Shaved Dome

    17 April 2015, 9:50 am by: Michael K

    Just a few weeks after thousands of dog ear drums burst and garage door openers exploded from the high-pitched sound of the Directioners wailing over the hot one leaving the group of hollering twinks in skinny jeans that is One Direction, the hot one made his…
  • The Queen Of The Front Row Made An Appearance Last Night

    17 April 2015, 9:47 am by: Allison

    Sorry, but I’m not referring to Anna Wintour or that roided-up right arm of hers (seriously, she looks like she was cobbled together using the spare parts from a He-Man doll, and I am concerned). I’m talking about Harper Seven Beckham, who dragged her…
  • Watching The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion Drove Kim Richards Over The Edge

    17 April 2015, 8:43 am by: Michael K

    Seen above next to a melting Jocelyn Wildenstein action figure, Kim Richards of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was charged with all sorts of shit yesterday morning after she went to Mean Drunk Town at the Beverly Hills Hotel and allegedly kicked a cop at…
  • The Internet is Swatting At Michael Buble For Instagramming A Picture Of A Stranger’s Ass

    17 April 2015, 7:41 am by: Allison

    Justin Bieber’s less-assholey adult contemporary equivalent Michael Bublé (I don’t know if that makes any sense, but they’re both Canadian and give off a strong douche vibe, so it works for me) recently found himself in trouble with the angry…
  • The Difficult Brown Really Is Somebody’s Father

    17 April 2015, 7:01 am by: Michael K

    When the world found out that Chris Brown actually procreated, some people didn’t really believe it and refused to believe it until Child Protective Services announced their plans to build an office right next to his house. But it’s really true and Chris…
  • Maury Povich Talks About The Weirdest Paternity Test Result To Ever Happen On Maury

    17 April 2015, 5:54 am by: Allison

    And no, it has nothing to do with Papa John impregnating a woman with a half-human, half-pepperoni baby (I wish); I just wanted to use a picture of Maury Povich giving the kind of stank face I picture he gives Connie Chung after discovering she accidentally…
  • ICYMI: The Bootleg Trailer For Batman V Superman

    17 April 2015, 5:43 am by: Michael K

    The trailer for Zack Snyder’s Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice was supposed to make its debut to the public in select IMAX theaters on Monday. No, it’s not going to play in front of another movie. The trailer is going to play by itself in a special…

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